·:[ The Healthy Mom ]:·
• • • • •

So, I get to school, and my dad tells me that my mom has dental appt at 2 PM. Crap.

*I* have an appt for a facial at 12:45 PM until 2:15 PM. So there’s half an hour there of overlap. My dad was going to see if he could leave work early for that time. But it annoyed me that my mom just let us both know that this morning. So then I spent a lot of energy being irritated and wondering if I needed to cancel MY appt.

May, Candy and I met for a run today. Candy turned around earlier because she had a coffee date with Lindsey, and May and I went to the over pass. And yesterday I tried those crazy fast low fast CrossFit squats, and my inner thighs are ACHING. Ouch.

It was fine when I was running, but whenever we stopped or slowed down - ouch.

May suggested that my mom take the boys to her appt, and then I could pick them up from there. Okay. It’s across town from my appt, but better than having to cancel.

My mom said okay, but that my dad was still waiting to hear if he could get off work early.

So i went to my facial and enjoyed it, but in the back of my mind, worried about the whole situation. I got out at 2:15 PM, and headed towards my mom’s dental office. I called my dad’s cell phone, but there was no answer so I figured he was still at work.

I got to the dental office, only to be informed that my dad picked up the boys and took them to school with him. WTF? And no one could have left me a message to let me know?!

So I went home and worked, irritated that I missed half an hour of billable time when I’m so busy right now.

Sigh.

My dad brought the boys back at 4:30 PM, so I was actually able to work a few hours. When I asked him why he didn’t call me, he said that he *thought* that he had already told me.

Sigh.

I know I sound ungrateful, but my mom was the one who wanted a regular day with the boys, and I need to be able to know that time is time I definitely have. The facial was a rare treat - a Christmas gift certificate that took me 2 months to take the time and get an appt.

Okay, rant over.

Back to work.

UGH - after ArtSports was difficult for me. I’m just really cranky. I made them dinner and then put them in the bath, and they got water all over the bathroom floor - not just near the tub either. I nearly slipped and that just pissed me off further. Good grief! It was all I could do to hang on until Doug got home so I could go to one of many choices of evening activity

PTA meeting about magnet school status - nope.

I’ve already decided not to participate in the PTA until both boys are in school full time. I’ve got years of that to come and I don’t want to start earlier than I have to. I told Johanna my magnet school concerns (exactly HOW MUCH parent participation?), though. Besides, it started at 5:30 PM and Doug got home after 6:00 PM.

Democratic caucus - nope.

After Edwards dropped out of the presidential race, I only recently decided who to support. Well, that’s not entirely true… I’ve never been a big fan of Hillary Clinton (though I still am one of Bill’s), and her campaigning has left me flat. Too scripted, no heart, and I’ll never believe that tear was genuine.

Besides, I know Republicans who would drive through sleet and snow and nails just to NOT vote for her, and that’s the biggest issue of all. So, I’m backing Obama. I’m not on the big Obama-rama-Ding-Dong Bandwagon, but I also know that there are actually Republicans who would vote for him, so there is a chance there to get a Democrat back in the White House.

And, truth be told, if our Republican ends up being McCain, I can live with that, too. Go figure.

I personally don’t believe that Hillary can take Colorado tonight. So I’m not caucusing either… which leaves me -

Climbing night and Shuga’s - yes!

So instead, I went climbing with Lisa and met Tiffany at Shuga’s (after she caucused).

It was actually a good climbing night - except for one particularly tough 10+ that I wasn’t even able to start - and I feel like I got a good workout. I also had a mental block in this one dyno at the start of another climb. I totally psyched myself out somehow. I was finally able to pull it off, but I took a long time to be able to let go.

Tiffany’s caucus ended before we finished climbing, so she was waiting there when I got there. Lisa joined us.

I was eager to hear about the caucus procedures. And the results. And in Tiffany’s precinct, the majority was for Obama, BUT the delegates were split 50/50. Which made me feel a little guilty for not going to my caucus, but only briefly.

We had a nice night of food and drink and laughter. Totally what I needed.

http://www.gazette.com/articles/buffet_32575___article.html/pizza_biggs.html

Smaller portions for kids at Biggs?
Obesity concerns lead fun center to end all-you-can-eat pizza buffet
By BILL RADFORD
THE GAZETTE
January 31, 2008 - 7:15PM

With children’s waistlines expanding, Mr. Biggs Family Fun Center in Colorado Springs is eliminating its all-you-can-eat pizza buffet in favor of more healthy alternatives.

“There’s nothing right about selling kids all-you-can-eat pizza,” said Steve Bigari, coowner and chief executive officer of Mr. Biggs.

So even though the $4.99 buffet has been a success financially, Bigari said, it will be replaced in the next month or two with a line of “healthful, low-fat, greatvalue options.”

A salad buffet will remain and cost less. There will still be pizza, but it will be sold by the slice and will include a whole-wheat, low-fat pizza. Kid favorites such as fries will be available but sold in moderation, alongside new options such as turkey burgers and panini sandwiches.

Bigari, a former McDonald’s franchisee who sold his dozen McDonald’s restaurants in 2006, said the decision to end the Mr. Biggs buffet is a bad one from a business standpoint. But with childhood obesity labeled a growing crisis, he said, “I don’t see that I have a choice.”

I am disappointed in this decision.   

Have you seen the pizzas at the buffet?  They are small, maybe 12-13″ diameter.  The slices are kid-sized.   

How much are they going to charge per slice?  Do we have to buy by the slice only or will they also sell whole pizza pies - hopefully for less than the cost per individual slice times the number of slices.

Their arcade prices are already expensive,  their party packages are inflexible, and now they are going to make their restaurant charge more as well?

I wish he wouldn’t couch the decision under the guise of being healthier.  He simply wants to make more money, period.

Kid favorites such as fries will be available but sold in moderation

What does that mean?  Will we only be allowed to order one serving per child?

I think he needs to spend more time fixing the broken laser tag equipment and the problem of people having to wait in line for 30-40 minutes for attractions on a 2 hour pass.

My kids are active, high energy kids who can eat 2-3 slices of pizza and still remain at a healthy weight.  They even eat vegetables along with their pizza.

If this decision were truly based on concerns of childhood obesity (and I don’t believe that it is), I feel that the parents who do make good choices for their children are being penalized because of parents who let their children overeat and don’t encourage their children to be active.

If he was *truly* concerned about childhood obesity, then perhaps he should also discontinue the arcade games, Go Karts and Battletech and replace them with more calorie burning activities.

If we decide to go there again, we’ll just eat lunch at home before we go. Or at McDonald’s

Want to read how the West Side Moms feel about it?

Today was the rescheduled court date for the speeding ticket I got last month.

I parked at 8:20 AM, got into the courthouse and checked in by 8:30 AM.

I read my book and ignored all the  court procedures, etc

I waited until my name was called with my plea bargain paperwork.

I picked it up, read and signed it.  I peeled off the yellow copy for myself and then paper-clipped the rest of the paperwork together.

The clerk tells everyone that they need to come up and sign their paperwork and keep just the yellow copy and paper-clip the rest of the paperwork and give it to her.

I have done this already.  While everyone else is signing or waiting for a pen, I hand her my paperwork as she described.

Therefore, I was the first one called when the judge was doing the hearings.

“Yes, your honor.”  “I did, your honor”  “Thank you, your honor.”  “I can, your honor.”  “Thank you, sir.”

I left to the office where you pay your fine.  I paid it and got back to my car exactly one hour after I parked there.

As an extra bonus, I got halfway through Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants while I was in the courtroom. 

HOLY CRAP.  Since the key flush incident, I have avoided going to the dealer to get another set of key and remote fob.

I went today, they happened to be out of the remote I needed, but I was informed it would cost $83 for the remote, $55 for the key and $50 to program them!   

Are you frakking kidding me? 

So, now I’m online and find that I get a key and fob and program them myself.  $19.95 + 7.49 shipping for the remote and $7.95 + 7.49 shipping for the key.

I’d rather pay $55 than $192.  In fact, I could get TWO new sets for $110.  Sheesh!

So…  I love Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy.  Doug and I really enjoyed reading and discussing them.

There’s a new movie coming out for the first book, The Golden Compass in December.  I just got a strongly worded email blast calling for a boycott.

Here’s the IMDB plot summary for the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385752/plotsummary

After a bit of googling, I found this article http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1573421/story.jhtml

It does have STRONG anti-religious overtones, but not necessarily anti-Christian. Christianity isn’t the only religion with churches, God and angels - lots of religions have the same aspects with different names.

I’m always surprised by the fervor against a movie or book.  If you don’t like it, don’t watch it or read it.  Don’t try and have it banned from everyone else.   

Of course, we all know that this kind of controversy just makes more people want to see it.     Harry Potter. Da Vinci Code.  Last Temptation of Christ.  Even Dogma.   

I guess a boycott is better than banning. Now that would be wrong.

I’m so irritated. 

I was at our McDonalds (on 30th) with Emmett, Zander and Zevan after swim class.  It’s lunch hour, they only have one register open, and the high school boys are filing in. 

Zander is eating his Taco Bell at the table with Emmett and Zevan.  Zevan steals Zander’s straw, I have to get out of line to go get him because he’s pitching a fit.

I pick him up and get in the back of the line.  I’m holding him, he’s squirming, I’m making him use words to tell me what he wants.  He *FINALLY* says he wants me to put him down.  He goes over to the new toy display and starts punching it.   

The high school boys find it amusing, as does the guy in front of me in line.  I roll my eyes, and I feel some small amount of commiseration.  I know he’s hungry.  I just want to get some food in him.

Zevan starts crying and carrying on - big tantrum.  I’m next to order.    He’s all, “Moooooom-meeeee…  Moooooom-meeeee… Moooooom-meeeee”

It’s *finally* my turn to order.

I’m in the middle of ordering when this b*tch comes up to me all rudely, “You need to control your kid.  He’s running all over the place.  It’s rude.”

Oh NO you didn’t.

It was all I could do to NOT say what I was thinking, “Listen you f*t f*ck, you are either not a mom or not a nice one, so back off “

I just looked at her, and said, “Whatever.” and continued ordering.  Inside I was 

I finished ordering, and looked for Zevan.  He was sitting at the table with Emmett and Zander. Tantrum apparently over.

He starts whining when I bring the drinks over, so I tell him, “If you can’t calm down and be nice, I’m going to let that mean lady take you to her house.”   

I just had to vent.  I’m over it now.

I was interviewed by a reporter on Fox21 News this afternoon about this ban on breastfeeding pictures on both FaceBook and MySpace. That was an experience. She was this very young, very pretty girl. Our interview was interrupted by the ZBoys a few times, and it was funny. She handled it well.

Right after we started, Zander came out from his snack table - “I want to eat outside,” he declared, as he dropped his plate and pizza. I set him up outside, and we continued. Then, of course, Zevan came out.

“I want to eat outside, too!” Another pause as we set him up.

As we wrapped up, Candy came by to visit.

Afterwards, I went climbing with Megan C and Cindy. That was fun! It had been 2 years since Cindy last climbed with us. We alternated climbing and belaying and chatting. It was a decent session for me, too. I climbed an 8 to warm up, and several 10s. May would have been proud.

Afterwards, we met with Tiffany at Ruby Tuesday for dinner and drinks. And talked and hung out until we closed the place down.

When I got home, I came up and scared the bejeezus out of Doug who didn’t hear me come in. Then we both leaned down to give Zevan a kiss, and bonked heads. It was very funny - like an 80s sitcom.

I checked my email, and got a message about the update I’ve been dreading to read

October 02, 2007 at 09:46 PM MDT
After an incredible battle and amazing fight, Greg peacefully passed away at 7:30 this evening. After watching the grace in which he handled the past 9 days, I can say that I have never been more proud and in awe of him. I was so blessed to have had him in my life these past 36 years.

His memorial service and celebration of life is scheduled for Saturday, October 6th from 11:00am-3:00pm at the downtown Old Chicago’s restaurant/bar on Tejon in Colorado Springs.

Thank you to all of you. Your love and continued support made all of the difference these past 26 months. I am certain that he knew how much he was loved. I seriously doubt there was anything more important to him than knowing that.

Doug was sitting behind me, and I blurted something about Greg dying. He turned and read the message. The fact that his memorial would be at Old Chicago’s downtown was so fitting and touching. We both held each other and wept. He related a memory of drawing the timeline of Babylon 5 on the boards when they both worked at HP. We held each other some more.

After a while, we each took a deep breath and got up. We talked a bit, then decided to go downstairs and watch me on the news.

I have a really hard time watching myself on video. Doug had made some comment about TV making me look chunky (I need an icon of one smiley backhanding another smiley here) when I asked him if he watched it already, so I was miffed and even more insecure about watching it with him.

It wasn’t too bad. Thankfully I just had one “y’know” and I don’t remember hearing too many “um”s And the reporter seemed greener than me, so that was a plus.

Not bad for like 30 seconds of fame. I wonder how much of my 15 minutes I’ve used up?

I can see the smoke from our balcony.  Here’s a couple of pictures I just took a few minutes ago:

http://picasaweb.google.com/maida.scott/InclineFire

I have had a wicked headache for a while now, and I am realizing it’s because I haven’t had caffeine all day. 

Before dinner, Doug wanted to go for a hike today, and Zander was not at all interested.  I said that I’d stay home with Zander and Doug could hike with Zevan.  Zevan overheard and said, “I want to be with mommy.” 

So, even though *I* wasn’t necessarily in the mood for a hike, and despite my feeling that it was a bad idea to make him go, I used my persuasion to get Zander to go.  Obviously, it was important to Doug because Zander starts school tomorrow, and the weather was nice, and we should get outside 

Sure enough Zander had a tantrum halfway through our “hike” through the main area of Garden of the Gods.  There was crying and scheming and screaming and grunting  from Zander.  Meanwhile, Zevan is saying he is tired and pouting and demanding a piggy back ride from me.  With Zander, I tried to use reason and then resorted to threats and then gave way to distraction to get us back to the car and home again.  After Zander was more distracted, I convinced Zevan to ask me in a nice way for a piggy back ride.  Of course, I gave in (why did I leave the Ergo in the car?  Oh, because Doug rolls his eyes about Zevan being carried when we hike.  Doug refuses to carry him at all.)

Doug was disappointed because we barely walked around at all.  Did he somehow forget that we got up early and walked around outside this morning when we saw the balloons launch?   

The boys ate dinner and then Doug bathed them.

Then, I put the kids in their PJs, read books, and got them to bed.  Afterwards, I finished cleaning up the kitchen, then did a load of laundry, then went to the grocery store.

We have an FSA card that we are supposed to be able to use to pay for medicines and medical expenses.  so, I paid for the allergy medicine and vitamins separately, thinking to use that card for those.  No dice.  (Turns out vitamins are not covered, but whatever)

So I come home and tell him it didn’t work.  And then he turns it into this whole long conversation about how FSA is a waste of *his* time and it’s not worth it for him to do all the paperwork.  Not worth $240 a year.  This from Mr. Budget.  This from Mr. “I buy a case of wine every month, but it’s saving money because they are all under $14″   

So, I say, “Well, forgive me if I’m not sympathetic, but I do laundry and housework and no one pays me for my time.” 

And he says, “I think it would be worth more if I did laundry instead of FSA paperwork.”

Right… 

And here I thought I had come to peace with my resentment issues (you know, the whole “The Mask of Motherhood” thing), but clearly, I have not.

I finished it today. Wow. It was great.

Note to self… when reading The Most Recent Posts, read the title of the thread before reading the thread.

I missed the very big Spoiler Alert subject line that was so graciously put there as a warning and totally spoiled myself by reading Joy’s post when I was halfway through the book. 

No matter!  I really enjoyed it.     Yay!

SPOILERS BELOW

(more…

Okay, I went in at 8:30 AM.  I sat around until 10:40 AM, and got my name called to come back at 1:30 PM.

I came back at 1:30, got into the jury pool for a criminal trial, and was there until 5:00 PM.  AND I have to go back tomorrow morning at 9 AM because the jury selection isn’t final yet.

I had to cancel a physical therapy appt that I had at 3:30 PM today.  AND I had to cancel a doctor’s appt that took me 2 weeks to get.     I can’t even work or read because I have to pay attention to the proceedings as they decide on the final jury selection.

   ARGH!

It’s over.     I was excused because I was unable to remain impartial about this case.   

So now I can divulge some more information.   

So, it was a domestic violence issue, the charges were first degree attempted murder and second degree assault.  With a knife.

Clearly, I am unable to be impartial in this case.  Particularly since it sounded like the defendant was going to claim that he “abandoned” his attempt to murder the woman.   

Like tried to stab her, changed his mind, said, “Call the police” and that’s supposed to excuse the attempt.  Sorry, no.

But I was sitting around other potential jurors and we were joking around the whole time.  It was kind of fun this morning.  Each time a juror got excused, becoming the next potential juror got closer and closer to us, we would make the Spy danger music “ un dun DUNNNNN”  If you’ve seen the Backyardigans spy episode, you’ll know what I mean.

I got out at 10:15, just in time for my doctor’s appt. 

Hillary is too polarizing, and Barack isn’t black enough.

So…  I’m currently backing John Edwards - for his stance on environmental issues AND universal health care.  And he’s the most electable of the candidates. 

Here are his current platform issues: http://johnedwards.com/about/issues/

You can find other local supporters at One Corp.  Currently there is a CARE package project going on for the troops: http://blog.johnedwards.com/event/491

This is from www.johnedwards.com

Get excited!! You’re invited to join John Edwards this Thursday, in downtown Denver, Colorado.

WHAT: A campus rally with John Edwards.

WHEN: This Thursday, March 1, 2007 at 3:30 PM

WHERE: Tivoli Student Union, Turnhalle.
Auraria Campus - Metropolitan State College of Denver
900 Auraria Parkway
Denver, CO 80204.
This event is free and open to the public.
Please let us know if you plan to attend by clicking here.
No RSVP or tickets required.
For more information please call 720-221-9211.

George W. Bush is trying—yet again—to slash funding for NPR and PBS. This week, Bush proposed a new budget with devastating cuts to public broadcasting.1 “Sesame Street” and other ad-free kids’ shows are under the knife. So is the independent journalism our country needs.

Enough is enough. We’ve fought this fight before and won—but we can’t afford the risk anymore. With the new Congress, we can make sure this never happens again. We need Congress to insulate NPR and PBS from the political winds.

We can make it happen if enough of us sign this petition: “Congress must save NPR and PBS once and for all. Congress should guarantee permanent funding and independence from partisan meddling.” Clicking here will add your name to the petition:

http://civ.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/o.pl?id=9860-6789171-NNPDS8Anry5ZFkQyT7NdkA&t=2

After you sign, please forward this email to your friends, family, and co-workers to keep this campaign going. We’ll deliver the petition to members of Congress as they consider Bush’s budget—offering a public counterpoint to this dangerous attack.

Congress can protect NPR and PBS from future cuts. The long-term solution to save public radio and TV is to:

fully restore this year’s funding
guarantee a permanent funding stream free from political pressure
reform how the money is spent and keep partisan appointees from pushing a political bias

Bush’s budget would cut federal funds for public broadcasting by nearly 25%.1 According to PBS, the cuts “could mean the end of our ability to support some of the most treasured educational children’s series” like “Sesame Street,” “Reading Rainbow,” and “Arthur.”2

As telecommunications chair Rep. Ed Markey said, “In a 24-7 television world with content often inappropriate for young children, the public broadcasting system represents an oasis of quality, child-oriented educational programming. We owe America’s children and their parents this free, over-the-air resource.”1

The cuts could also decimate one of the last remaining sources of watchdog reporting on TV—continuing the partisan war on journalism led by the ex-chair of public broadcasting, Ken Tomlinson.3 More people trust public broadcasting than any corporate news media.4 President Bush would rather undermine our free press than face reporters who are asking tough questions.

Let’s put an end to the constant threats to NPR and PBS. Let’s ask Congress to guarantee funding and stop partisan meddling. Clicking here will add your name to the petition:

http://civ.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/o.pl?id=9860-6789171-NNPDS8Anry5ZFkQyT7NdkA&t=3

Thank you for all you do.

–Noah, Marika, Eli, Adam G. and the MoveOn.org Civic Action Team
Thursday, February 8th, 2007

P.S. Our friends at Free Press have more on how to save NPR and PBS once and for all:

http://www.freepress.net/publicbroadcasting/=policy

Sources:
1. “Bush Proposes Steep Cut to PBS Funding,” TV Week, February 5, 2007
http://www.tvweek.com/news.cms?newsId=11508

2. PBS’ Ready to Learn program (funds “Sesame Street” and other children’s shows)
http://www.pbs.org/readytolearn/

3. “Tomlinson Slinks Away,” MediaCitizen, November 3, 2005
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=2347&id=9860-6789171-NNPDS8Anry5ZFkQyT7NdkA&t=4

4. “2005 ‘Open to the Public’ Objectivity and Balance Report,” Corporation for Public Broadcasting, January 31, 2006
http://www.cpb.org/aboutcpb/goals/objectivity/

Today is Joe Priole’s birthday. He would have been 37 years old today, if he hadn’t died on September 21, 2005. He had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

Motherhood changes everything, particularly your perspective on events. I can’t watch movies or read books anymore where children are killed/injured/kidnapped/tortured. It’s far too disturbing. My biggest fear in life is that one of my children, or my husband, dies.

With two miscarriages, both after we had already seen the heartbeat, I experienced loss so deeply that it changed my life forever. I will never be the same. I believe that is only a *small* taste of what losing a child after he is born could be.

When Fran called me to tell me that Joe had died, it was shocking. And unbelievably deeply sad. I felt guilty that I hadn’t seen him or called him after I found out he was sick. I always figured there was time. Death seemed so unlikely that it never entered possibility in my mind.

All I could think about was Joe’s family, particularly his mom. She was so kind to me when I knew her, even when my own boyfriend’s mom was so unkind. And my heart broke for her, in a way I never knew before I had my sons. Of course, it was devastating to everyone who loved him, but a mother’s love is like no other, and her heartbreak is like no other.

I tried to figure out a way to get back for the service that week. To fly with 2 kids would have cost me over $1000 that I simply didn’t have. They don’t offer bereavement fares for old friends. My parents didn’t live here yet, and there wasn’t time to find someone to watch the kids while Doug was at work so I could go on my own. I spent a few hours trying to figure out a way to go there, and I just couldn’t make it work.

So I did the only think I could do from here. I set up a memorial website for him, where people could light a candle for him and leave a message. I get notices every time someone lights a candle. Over the last 24 hours, there have been a few, reminding me of Joe’s birthday and of his passing.

So during my hour long run this morning, I spent 45 minutes of it reminiscing about Joe. Here’s the thing. Joe and I knew each other many lifetimes ago - before I had kids, before I got married, before I finished college, before I joined the Air Force… Joe and I were friends through my high school boyfriend, Mike Coady. But my interaction with Joe basically ended when I enlisted in the US Air Force in August of 1988. Mike and I nearly made married, but didn’t.

We kept in spotty contact after that.

My memories of Joe are all from high school and shortly after high school. Some highlights: he’s is the only guy I personally know that was involved in a police car chase. He hooked up with a couple of my girlfriends while I dated Mike C. I had a very brief, purely innocent, little love affair with his little brother before I enlisted. He had the nickname “The Impregnator.” He was the driver in an accident where I ended up on my one and only ambulance ride. He and Mike Hohenstein loved to play practical jokes. Particularly where Mike C and I were the victims. There was the night the Bon Jovi tickets went on sale. And the incident when Joe ran into the back of Mike H’s car on prom night. There was a lot of drinking. A lot of fighting. A lot of goofing around.

Joe had the most mischievous grin - he’d get *that* look, and you knew he was up to something. You might end up at the top of the Art Museum steps or passed out drunk on the sofa… you would never know which until it was too late. When the Mikes would argue, he always smoothed it over. And he was loyal to a fault. You knew - no matter what and without a doubt - that Joe had your back. Joe fiercely loved his family. And everyone loved Joe.

Sometime in the early 90s, the gang of us went out in Philadelphia when I was visiting from Colorado with Doug (then boyfriend, now husband). Some club with an Egyptian name/theme. It was a reunion of sorts - Mike C, Mike H, Joe, Doug Hunt, Steve Maserick. It was obvious all of our lives were in different places, but for one night, it was drinks and dancing.

I saw him one other time after that when I visited the martial arts school on a visit to NJ to see my folks. He and Mike H were both dating Filipina girls, which I thought was very amusing.

After that, my visits back to NJ were limited to the Cape May timeshare, and I stopped trying to make arrangements to meet with Mike H and Joe. Mostly because Mike H’s girlfriend inexplicably forbade him from contact with me, even though my relationship with him was YEARS before they even met. Why Mike endures a relationship with so little trust is beyond me, but if that’s what makes him happy, so be it. Not my problem. Life goes on.

I’m not big into Instant Messaging. I turn it on when I’m working on a website project with someone, and that’s about it. I usually make myself invisible to anyone else that might try to contact me while it’s on. Otherwise, it’s an interruption to my work time or my online play time, mostly on the West Side Moms forums. Joe was on my IM buddy list. I came back to my computer once and there was a message from him “Are you ignoring me?” By the time I got it, he was offline, and we never connected. That was the last I ever heard from him.

And that’s it. My memories of Joe. Rest in peace, man.

This is in response to a hot topic discussion among West Side Moms members, initially sparked by an article about the KKK growing, fed by anti-immigrant feelings…

I’m so INCREDIBLY sensitive to this topic, it’s impossible for me to start talking about it without getting very emotional.

I grew up in the only non-white family in a southern New Jersey suburb in the 70s.  So, yes there was A LOT of racism.  Some more subtle, but a lot very overt.

My parents faced so much discrimination when they moved to the US.  They made so many sacrifices for us to live here.  In the end, I was the reason they were “allowed” to stay.  My mom made some influential friends at the hospital she worked at, and got an evaluation saying that if their daughter was sent to the Philippines to live that my quality of life would be compromised and development would be permanently damaged (or something like that).

When we moved from Philadephia to the NJ suburbs, there were a lot of obstacles to them buying a home, because they were Filipino.

When I was younger, I would just shrink up, but as I got to my early teens, I started getting confrontational with racists.  After a while, no one said anything in front of me, or close to me, because if I overheard them, I would get on their case.

I didn’t run into much of it in college, since the racists were focusing on blacks and people with strong accents.  And mostly sexism, since I was studying electrical engineering.

Then I joined the military, where everyone assumed I was someone’s WIFE, not an actual active duty airman.

My last boyfriend’s mom (before Doug) was a bigot.  She said, after she met me, “Oh, I didn’t realize she’d be so… dark.”      

Then I moved here.

You know that Dairy Queen on Colorado?  In the first months I lived here, I went there with a friend for ice cream.  The older guy behind the counter said to me, “So, trying your luck on the main land?”

“Sorry?”  I said, incredulously.  He repeated it, s l o w l y.

I nearly grabbed the guy across the counter before my friend stopped me.

I didn’t go back there for years because of that.   

I met Mark Wong, a local Raku artist, because he walked up to me at The Underground and said, “You must be the one that everyone thinks is my sister”  We had a BIG laugh over that.  It’s funny that people assume that Candy & I  or May and I must be sisters, when we’re not even the same race.

I feel very protective of my kids with the whole race issue.  One of the many reasons that I really like Buena Vista is because of its diversity.  Not just the students, but also the teachers and staff.  I mean, Zander’s teacher is Filipina!    What are the chances?

At job interviews, meeting potential clients, meeting new moms in person, I’m always looking to see if there is a reaction to my ethnicity.  Like Kristi, I’ve travelled through some small towns and definitely got the feeling I wasn’t welcome.

What always gives me hope is the innocence of children.  One of Zander’s really good friends when he was younger described Zander as “his brown friend”.  It was cute, like he would describe his blonde friend or his tall friend.  It was just a distinguishing characteristic, not a big deal at all.

The world is getting more and more diverse, and that’s hopeful, too.

So far, thankfully, we haven’t run into any racial situations with the boys, and I am hoping that I will be able to handle it in a way that will not scar them for life.

When people ask me what I am, I make them ask me very specifically.  I like to play dumb. 
“I’m a work at home mom.  I do websites.”  or something equally not what they wanted to know.
No, I mean, what country are you from? 
“The US.  I was born in Philadelphia”
Oh. Well, where do you parents live?
“Here in town.”
At this point, they either give up or finally use the words, “What’s your ethnic background?”  or “Well, are you Indian / Mexican / Chinese ?”
“Oh, I’m a Filipina American.  What’s YOUR ethnic background?”

Okay, this is long enough.  I’ll get off my little soapbox now.