With most things, I am an all or nothing kind of gal. Nothing’s worth doing unless you push yourself to the limit every time, I always say to myself.

This philosophy does me well in so many areas of my life – particularly the physical aspects: Ascent, marathon, Warrior Dash, P90X, CrossFit to name a few.

But sometimes I need to just take my time and learn from experiencing, from getting the feel of things before I just jump in. What prompted this revelation?

*sigh* I laid my bike down today.

I have been feeling more comfortable with my riding – no stalling out at lights, making my turns tighter, riding in heavy wind as well as light rain. Even so, I don’t know what possessed me to drive up Ruxton Ave. The fact that it’s kind of steep and bit winding is one thing. The crux of the problem was turning around. Just before the cog railway, there is a turn around point. You are basically coming uphill, then turning in an acute angle going downhill. I was doing okay until I hit the gravel. Shit.

I hit the ground first, and made a valiant effort to hold the bike up, but gravity coupled with gravel and incline took us down. The engine stalled out as soon as I let go of the throttle. Gas started pouring out of the carburetor. Some girls who were either coming back from or heading to the Incline helped me get the bike up enough to put the kickstand down. I thanked them profusely. I sat to the side, catching my breath, preparing to bring the bike down. *deep breath* I told myself, I can do this.

I got on the bike, put it in neutral, and tried to roll it down to flat ground. No go. The hill was too steep, the bike was leaning downhill, and then there was the gravel. I went down again. Shit. Shit. Shit. This time another gal tried to help me pick it up, but the position of the bike on the hill was worse now. I couldn’t get any footing because now the bike was pretty much right up against the gravel. I was so irritated with myself for even attempting this. I hate making this turn in my CAR.

Then from around the corner, my guardian angel appeared clad in a tank top and – hmmm, I think cargo pants?. I think I had seen him driving on Ruxton earlier in a green Jeep with the top off. Seeing Jeeps always makes me miss mine.

Anyway, he came up the hill, and assessed my situation. He asked if I was okay, and if he could help me get the bike up. Yes, please. He inquired, “600?” I answered “800.” “No problem, we can do this,” he says.

He took the handlebars, and I lifted near the seat, and the bike came up. “No damage!” he declared. “You’re good.”

No sooner had I started thinking, “But I can’t get it down the hill,” he was saying, “Do you want me to bring it down there for you?” Yes, please. I tried to make myself useful by propping up on the left side of the bike, steadying the back while he braked and rolled efficiently and got me to more neutral ground. It was while we were pushing the bike, I noticed that he had a sidearm on right hip. And, for some reason, I suddenly felt safer.

We parked it, and I must have sighed with relief. He asked if I was feeling shaky, and I told him that I was just out of breath from the effort. And frustrated because I hadn’t dumped the bike before. He was gracious, said it has even happened to him, and that “If a guy tells you he’s never laid a bike down, he’s not really riding.” LOL. He gave me tips on picking a bike up when not on a hill, and again asked if I was going to be okay from here. I said that I would be. And shook his hand while thanking him even more profusely, this time noticing his tattooed arms.

And then he was gone. I took some breaths, felt extremely grateful that he showed up when I was thinking I was so out of options. I honestly had no idea what I would have done.

So I started the bike, and decided I needed to ride a while to get my sea legs back – motorcycle legs? So I went through Manitou, down Colorado and around downtown for about half an hour. It was only then I noticed some drops of blood on my left pant leg. What the? Then I noticed a little slice on my left thumb. Oh, nice. Time to head home and clean up.

I was going to take the bike back to my dad’s garage where I’ve been keeping it (nice flat ground there), but then decided that I hadn’t pushed myself enough in getting back in the saddle, so to speak. So I headed home. Up our steep hill, turned right up onto our steep street, then a hard left up onto the steep driveway. If you’ve been to my house, you exactly what I mean. I was tired, and made the fatal mistake of pausing at the bottom of our steep driveway.

I went down again. Hard this time – on concrete. I tried to pick up the bike, but I was exhausted from the earlier efforts. Again, the gas was pouring out of the carburetor. Oh hell. I ran into the house and called to Doug to help me. We got the bike up quickly, and I put it on the kickstand again and sat hard on the ground to catch my breath.

And berated myself some more for being so stupid. Doug was extremely supportive and sympathetic. And then I noticed the damage. Left rear signal hanging, lens broken. The tip of the clutch handle broken off. ARGH. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And here was evidence of that stupidity.

I should have let myself be. But that’s not what I do. So. Limitations. I must remember that I don’t *always*, *every* time, have to push myself to the edges of my capacity/ability in *every* single thing I do (except every CrossFit AMRAP). Sometimes, I need to take my time and learn.

Yeah, I’ll need to work on that.

A huge thanks to the gals who helped me and to my Jeep-driving, side-arm-wearing, tattooed guardian angel. I mean, c’mon – that angel is just tailor-made for me, right?

Oh, and in no way will this keep me from riding. I love riding. Just not on steep hills. Or gravel. Or both.

Since my recent weight loss, which was pretty dramatic – if you saw me anytime in 2009, a lot of people ask me how I did it. This account is pieced together from (my horribly bad) memory and random tweets and FB posts.

Since I avoided the scale when I was heaviest, I don’t have an official starting weight. I was at least 142 at one point. At my lightest, during this past year, I weighed 122. I weigh 125 today. I estimate that I lost about 18-20 lbs of body fat, and gained maybe 2-4 lbs of muscle. I’m 5′ 2½” – so any fat on me is much more noticeable.

THE FOOD
It was the ol’ eat less, exercise a whole lot more process. Mostly eat less. Because frankly, it is ALL about the food. Which you have to deal with in quantity and mentally.

What I did is NOT considered a healthy way. But I got results, am stronger than ever now – so there it is. For me, the best catalyst is fasting.

I try to kick off weight loss with a mini fast for a day or two – only fruits, vegetables, water and juice. Absolute minimal amount of food.

For the bulk of my weight loss time, I skipped breakfast or ate as late & as little as possible during the day. When I was particularly busy with work, it was a lot easier to do.

I would have a boiled egg and Kashi granola bar for breakfast. Then a 300 calorie or less lunch from Lean Cuisine/Healthy Choice. Then some kind of 200 – 300 calorie or less snack (Jello pudding Dulce de Leche or a Dreyer’s Frozen Fruit Bar or pumpkin seeds or chocolate). And for dinner, I eat sensibly, and watch my portions.

On my Thursday girls night out nights, I usually had a sandwich with soup or salad, 2-3 blushing geishas and almond butter cake for dessert. While I did consider that a “free (aka cheat) day”, I also ate minimally during the day, banking my calories for the evening. I often “banked” calories for special occasions like date night or an Oscar party or a friend’s BBQ.

I don’t deny myself any particular kind of food, but I have found that I either no longer crave or have completely lost my taste for foods. And I take great care not to overeat, so that my stomach stays small, and easier to fill up.

THE WORKOUTS
I started out with running. I was going to focus on cardio only for MONTHS before I was going to think about anything else. I had to drop pounds first. I started in August 2009, ran the fall series, and started running regularly during the holidays.

In February 2010, I started a full time job for the first time in nine years. I used my lunch hour for walking and running 4x a week. I think I was the first one to use the shower at the library.

In May 2010, I joined May on her weekend Incline workouts. Many weekends we did it twice. One time I did it 3 times in 25 hours. We continued through the first snow on the Incline.

In June, added Cardio Kick/Tae Bo a few times a week for cardio and to start toning. Billy Blanks is awesome!

I saw an ad for the Warrior Dash on Facebook (see, those targeted ads do work sometimes). I kept hemming and hawing, and then, lo and behold, a Groupon appeared for the race, and new waves were opened up. I was in!

In July, I did Fountain YMCA Mud Run, where I met another inspiration woman, Renee Renn. Never mind there were only 4 women in age group that completed the race, I placed on the Leaderboard for the first time in my life.

Near the of July, starting to worry about the obstacles, I added P90X workouts for strength training. Ah, Tony Horton, you are a great coach!

In September, thanks to a Gazette Daily Deal (like Groupon), I started CrossFit to get more definition in my back and legs. And it’s kicking my ass. And it’s working. The fact that I get up 4x a week, before work, to do the 6 am class, is a true sign of my addiction. I have NEVER been a morning person.

THE MENTAL
Keep in mind, I have started this process many times over the past 7 years. I reached my goal once, maybe 4 years ago, but then gained it all back again. And I was nowhere near as in-shape as I am in now.

This time, I have been able to be totally committed. It was a series of fortunate events, that got me through when the previous inspiration waned. My vanity also played a HUGE part in keeping motivated.

My wake-up call came in late August 2009, when a high school friend came to vacation with us for a few days. He took A LOT of photos. And I had not realized how much I weight I had gained. I was MORTIFIED, and went so far as to untag myself from a bunch of photos he posted on Facebook. I still cringe when I look at them – I can’t bring myself to do a Before/After share yet So, I started *thinking* about losing weight. I started doing the Incline. Skipped bread or pasta on occasion. I lost a few pounds. I needed to do more.

Frankly, my initial motivation to kick into high gear, after the first 5-7 lbs loss, came from seeing an attractive former boyfriend who was in great shape. Thank God he hadn’t seen me a few months prior. I was in single digit sizes for the first time in YEARS.

Further inspired by a friend who was losing weight and running and looking great. Then I bought my first pair of pants in a size 6! Woot!

And, of course, my best friend, May, who had started doing the Incline every weekend & I have ALWAYS weighed 10+ lbs more than, even though we are the same height/build. We totally pushed each other. At one point, I was within 5 lbs of her – another catalyst to keep going.

A trip to NJ in early August was more incentive to keep going. I was going to see lots of old friends from high school, including my high school boyfriend.

The final event – the Warrior Dash. My bestie, Tiffany, came with me, and took photos. No one was more surprised than I was when I saw the pictures. I had no idea that my arms had shaped up like that. Sweet!

A trip to California in September, where I had to don a bathing suit in public, was another motivation point. So was the motorcycle endorsement class I took.

CrossFit has been awesome. The coaches & other Crossfitters push & encourage me in a way that is fun and enjoyable. I love to start my day with them, even if it is ungodly early. 3 weeks after I started Crossfit, I slipped on my first pair of Size 5 pants in 15 years!

I have to say that I finally had to had to admit that squats were working to change to my shape, when my husband actually noticed and told me he saw a difference in my ass

In November, I rewarded myself with the purchase of a shiny purple 2004 Kawasaki Vulcan Classic 800. Oh yeah! In December, I took about 8 pairs of the size 6 pants that I got earlier in the year to get altered down to a size 4. I don’t want to have to take them back to be let out again.

MAINTENANCE
After the holidays, I got into maintenance mode. I have become a little more lax with the food, but not the workouts. I briefly had a spurt where I was eating a Snickers Dark every day! Then when I had the sinus infection/migraine/ER trip in February, I gained back about 5-7 lbs. I did not like seeing those numbers on the scale again, so a couple of weeks ago, I did a quick 2 day mini-fast, which seems to have shrunk my stomach significantly and further reduce my cravings.

I’m back down to 125, which I’m happy for. That’s my maintenance weight, with a 2-3 lb swing. As long as my size 4 jeans fit me, I’m a happy camper

So there it is – my weight loss journey. I’ll admit that I live in constant fear that I’ll gain the fat back, which keeps me motivated, as does all the great pictures and compliments I have had from my husband (who lost 20 lbs himself!), my kids, my friends – and ex-boyfriends. LOL!

So, I have been extremely lax in the workout dept.

This week I made a pact to do *something* 5 days this week.

Monday, I did a tiny triathlon trial. I went to the Aquatic Fitness Center and swam 800 yards in 17:30. That is fast for me!

I was planning to do a swim/bike brick, and go for a ride around the lake. But I forgot my shoes! DOH! So I drove back home and got my shoes on and went for a ride up Mesa Road. I rode for 4 miles. My splits were 8/7/4/4. I got off my bike and went for a short 2 mi run. Man, were my calves tight!

During this trial I ran into some logistical issues. Like, hmmm, I can’t run wearing a swim suit. No support up top.

For that day, I changed into a jog bra and top, but that doesn’t seem practical for the race.

So I posed the question to the local trichics and ended up ordering a tri tank and tri shorts from SkirtSportsOutlet.com.

The pieces arrived on Thursday, but I haven’t had a chance to try them on yet.

On Tuesday night I went to the climbing gym with Tiffany. Totally burned out my forearms.

Wednesday morning I went for a 5k run in Monument Valley Park. It felt pretty good to just run again. I think I need to recalibrate my Nike+ iPod though – it clocked me as doing 3.21 mi in 30:53 – which is pretty much me at my fastest. I’m pretty sure my gait has shortened since the injury, which would certainly throw the calibration off to make me seem faster.

On Thursday, I went for a more leisurely 750 swim which took me about 20 minutes

Friday was the boys’ last day of school where they spent the day at Thorndale Park, so I did a lot of walking and a bit of box hauling. I figured that was enough for the day.

So I did *something* physical each day this week. It’s a start.

thehealthymom is a wreck. For dad, the ERCP tomorrow is a no go. Possible cancer. Options went from surgery to hospice care. I’m not handling this well.10:38 PM
May 20th from TweetDeck

Late Wednesday night they said they wouldn’t be able to do the procedure because he had a fever and he was so very weak.

We spent most of the day on Thursday thinking he would be gone soon. I visited him around lunch time on Thursday and brought some get well cards that the boys had made for him. I read them to him, and gave him some ice chips, and then let him rest. He was very, very weak and looked so unhealthy.

After I left, I met Doug at Buena Vista for Zander’s kindergarten transition/graduation ceremony.

thehealthymom’s father in law needs to have a procedure he may not survive, but he most certainly won’t without it. Heading back to the hospital now.
2:21 PM May 21st from TweetDeck

Then suddenly on Thursday afternoon, Georgiana called and said that the doctors wanted to go ahead with the ERCP procedure. They said that he may not survive the procedure, but that he could not live longer without doing it.

So I called my dad, he came over to watch the boys, and Doug and I picked up his mom and took her to the hospital. We met with Georgiana there and Greg and his daughter Jessica were on their way down from Ft Collins. Normally, he is only allowed 2 visitors in the ICU. But since this was a “special occasion” (ie, he might die) they let us all come in to his room to be with him before the procedure.

THANKFULLY, it was a very short procedure. 20 minutes for the actual ERCP and then another 30 minutes in recovery before we could see him. They cleared out the blockage in his bile duct and it’s kept open with a stent. OMG – he must have been suffering for a long time. They said his duct was COMPLETELY blocked. They released 300 cc of bile that had been built up due to the blockage. They intubated him for the procedure, and decided to keep him intubated afterwards while his lungs cleared. They took tissue from several places for a biopsy. A likely diagnosis would be that the blockage was caused by a malignant tumor.

thehealthymom is relieved that dad’s procedure went well. We’ll get biopsy results in the morning
6:46 PM May 21st from vlingo

We spoke with both the anesthesiologist and the surgeon who performed the procedure. They both said that dad did well. And although he is still very, very, very sick, he will be more comfortable now.

We all went out to dinner together at Appleby’s. Even mom had a margarita.

Friday morning, we got an update from Georgiana. She said that Dad was still intubated, but his color was good and he was more alert.

thehealthymomgot to talk with dad in the ICU – he’s off the ventilator + looks more like himself. No biopsy results today.
5:05 PM May 21st from vlingo

On Friday afternoon, Doug and I visited dad together. We were pleasantly surprised to find that the breathing tube was removed. And even happier to hear dad talking with us, seeming much more like himself. What a relief.

I’m so relieved that he might actually get the chance to go home (with hospice care) and the boys might be able to see him more normally and get a chance to say some form of good-bye to him.

I’m still really struggling with what losing him will affect the boys. No matter what, it’s going to be hard on them, but I just don’t want it to be any more difficult than it has to be.

At this point, our best hope is that he will be well enough to come home with hospice care, so he doesn’t have to be in the hospital.

Please continue to keep him – and the family – in your thoughts/prayers.

:snicker:

So, you know that Facebook phenomenon where one posts a picture of cartoon characters with different stereotypical traits (clown, jock, princess), and then tags that photo with names of friends who possess those traits?

My last two friends tagged me as the “jock.”

Huh? Me?

For me, the word initially conjures images of brutish boys with low IQs and letterman jackets. But then, I think. Oh – like an athlete. Someone who participates in sports.

After the Ascent, Disney World Marathon and Disneyland Half Marathon, I still never considered myself an “athlete.”

Yet here I am training for my first triathlon. Along with weekly trips to the climbing gym.

So I’ll take the “jock” label for the first time in my life.

And with it came my first strained muscle.

I went for a ride on Monday morning, and the weather was cool, but clear. So I planned to do a 16 mile ride. 2 miles into the ride, it started to snow. I went another mile and it was really coming down. The wind was biting and the snow was accumulating on the chest of my fleece. By mile 4, my toes were numb. I was heading back to my car, and I was miserable.

Right after the ride, my legs felt stiff and cramped. I got home, warmed up and worked for a good part of the day. The whole time my left calf ached, and I was thinking it was a cramp that I needed to work out. I was walking on my toes because I was unable to put my heel to the ground without a very sharp strong pain shooting up my leg. That evening, as we watched tv, I tried massaging it and it was incredibly tender to the touch.

The next day, I got an appt at Great Moves PT. Jessica wasn’t available so I saw Emily. Her diagnosis was quick – a torn gastrocnemius – strained calf muscle. She was very apologetic about my injury. When I asked how long it would take, she hesitated and said it was hard to say.

The thought of not being able to do the triathlon was deeply disappointing. She worked on my calf with light massage and Biofreeze. She suggested that I see an orthopedic doctor to determine the severity. While I iced my calf, I made an appt. She asked me to stay off of it for another day or two.

I asked if I could swim that day. She looked dubious. So I promised to completely rest it for a couple of days.

Today I saw Dr. Mahony, who is orthopedic doctor/surgeon for the CC Tigers. He was recommended to me by a friend. His offices are filled with sports paraphernalia signed by his patients.

He is a super nice doc, and when he checked me out, he did a couple of squeezes and pokes. He then looked concerned. When he pressed on my inner thigh, I winced in surprise. The other side did not elicit the same response. He called the tech in and asked that I immediately have an ultrasound to determine if I had a blood clot in my leg. All of a sudden, I felt nervous. She called to the lab and they said they would fit me in, but it could take a while..

So I went down, returned some client calls, got registered, and went out to the lobby and got some lunch. Just as I finished, they called me back for my u/s. It was pretty interesting watching her view and listen to the blood flowing through the veins/arteries in my leg.

And it turned out that I don’t have a blood clot. Whew! I went back up to Dr. Mahony.

He said it would take about 6 weeks to heal. I balked. I have a race in 5 weeks. He said that it wouldn’t be dangerous, but it would probably be painful. And if the race was important to me, I could do it. But I would have to suck it up about the pain. He said to keep working on swimming and biking. And I could start stretching my calf again next week and ease back into running with a shorter stride.

So, now I’m trying to figure out what to do.

…my best friend May got a full time job! My running, climbing, work-out partner and fellow geekspeak coder best friend got a full time job!

It’s been weeks in the making, and the whole time I secretly wished she somehow couldn’t work out the child care situation or something – anything – so that she couldn’t take the job. I had no doubts that she would get it if she wanted it.

And then today she dealt the final blow. We met for lunch at Pikes Perk after her interview and told me, “They want me to start on Thursday.”

I mock-swooned, clutching my chest. It somehow felt like a break-up – a few days earlier than anticipated.

Then we had lunch and went shopping so she could have clothes to wear to work.

I’m happy for her, actually. I know she wanted to do this, and I’m glad she got the job (for me, there was no doubt). I’m bummed for me. It’s so selfish.

She’s been my consistent, reliable, well matched work-out partner for the past four years. Sure, I wish she was a tad bit slower runner (at the same time I wish to be a tad bit faster runner…), but otherwise, we worked well together in motivating each other to go that extra mile, sprint to the next mile marker, dyno to that not so great hold, swim just one more lap…

Sigh.

Of course, I’m in the process of applying for a full time job myself – something I thought I would never even consider – but the position is just too good to not try. So far, I sent a resume this weekend, and haven’t even gotten the obligatory “we received your resume” response. Not that I *need* a job. This is something I actually want to do. We’ll see.

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Rum Cakes by Kelli – launched!
Legend Antiques onsite inventory and buying trip catalogs – launched!
Scitec, Inc – launched!
MA! motherhood with attitude redesign – launched!

4 sites launches… well, 2 full site launches, one catalog launch and one re-design, but still – it’s been a lot of work.

As I was making the final changes for the MA! redesign launch just a half an hour ago, Zander came in (way past his bed time).

“Mom, ” he began. “I think that you have been working enough today, ” he continued earnestly.

He wanted me to lay down with him for a few minutes – as the boys often do. I do often indulge them, for 5-10 minutes, and then promise to return when I’m done working/surfing/watching tv with dad. And my promise is always fulfilled, although sometimes not until 2 AM when I crawl into bed.

We still, somehow, have a family bed. Although there was a year or more that they slept in their own room, we all sleep together now. And, unlike many parents, I enjoy it. There’s nothing I like better than getting into bed and snuggling one boy under each arm.

But tonight, I had to say no. I did acknowledge how sweet he was, but told him I was in the middle of launching the site, and couldn’t lay down just yet. He looked appropriately disappointed, but didn’t go into full slump mode, so I knew we were okay.

Truth be told, I’m afraid there will be a snow day tomorrow, so I need to get as much done as I can tonight.

Hmmm… I wonder how the daycare works at Bally’s gym?

Yes, that’s right. The gym.

Thanks to the Discovery Health Challenge, May and I both have 30 day passes for Bally’s Fitness. I have been there 4 times a week since we started. I have been running on the dreadmill, lifting weights and swimming.

Yes, that’s right. Swimming.

I am regsitered for the Falcon Ground Speed sprint triathlon on May 9, 2009

Yes, that’s right. A triathlon!

Because the Pikes Peak Ascent, Disney World Marathon and Disneyland Half-Marathon weren’t enough of a milestone, at age 40, I will do my first triathlon. 825 yard (754.38m) length swim, 14.69 mile (23.64km) bike ride and 3.1 mile 5k run. I know I can do the run. I found out in the last two weeks that I can certainly do the swim. The bike part – well, I guess I’ll just have to start training now.

And to top it all off, tomorrow May and I start a two week diet regime to lose weight. Even with all this exercise, neither of us have managed to lose any weight or fit into any smaller sized clothing. So… tomorrow it begins. I need to work on my food choices and late day eating. She needs to work on her portion control. So two weeks of fully aware portions and healthier choices. Sigh.

Did I mention that I still have a lot of work projects as well? I’ve got Strangers In Paradise, CSG|Digital, Integrated Building Solutions and Telematrix on the horizon.

In these times, I’m not going to complain about having work to do, but it is a bit overwhelming.