WARNING: Seriously long rambling post

Today was much better than yesterday.

Yesterday I went through some serious over-reactive rage episodes, which caused me to knock a closet door off its track, hit a wall, primal scream therapy in the car, banging on the steering wheel, lots of cussing and angry tears of frustration.

Most of this was when I was by myself. Although I did quite a bit of huffing and door slamming in the morning when the boys were home and pissed me off. But I went upstairs to do it.

Then I met with girlfriends for lunch at PF Changs. Which was great. I cried. But I also heartily laughed. Although it made me miss my daily contact with May that much more again, it was good to be with my girlfriends. The time with them nourished my soul.

On my way back, I stopped at the library to pick up books for the boys, and when I arrived at my parents house at 2:00 PM – the time I told him I would pick them up – they weren’t there.

I figured they must be late coming back from lunch, so I called my dad to find out where they were. He cheerfully informs me that THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY TO LUNCH.

WTF? I could feel the anger boiling up. I reminded him that I said I would pick them up at 2:00 PM. “Well, they didn’t want to go to lunch earlier.”

SERIOUSLY?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I told him that we had plans to go to Doug’s parents house and meet with his cousins before they left to go back to California, and then go to swim class at 4:00 PM.

Now there was no way we could meet that schedule.

I was livid. Fine! I told him. And I said I would pick them up from the restaurant and take them over to Doug’s parents house. I called the AFC to see if I could get them into one of the later classes just for that night. No dice. They were all completely full.

Shit. Fine. They can skip class today. Sure, we only had half a class yesterday because the power went out, and today is only the 2nd class out of 10, but whatever.

So I stayed there, answered email, did some work, and then headed to the restaurant to pick the boys up. As I drive by, on the other side of the median, I see MY DAD’S TRUCK PULLING OUT OF THE PARKING LOT.

Are you frakking kidding me? I frantically honk to get his attention, then flip a hasty u turn at the next intersection to catch up with him.

We both pull over to the next parking lot, and roll down our windows. “What are you doing? I said I would pick them up from here!”

“You did?” my dad asks, completely oblivious.

O. M . G.

I can’t even be mad because he has no frakking idea what he’s done to me today. NONE.

“Hi, mom! Hi, mom!” from the boys.

I sigh DEEPLY and start the process of transferring the booster seats and the boys.

We leave there and head to Doug’s parents house. And on the way there, Zander THROWS UP IN THE CAR.

Someone please just kill me now.

I open the windows and tell him to hang on until we get to grandma’s house. We get there, and he throws up again.

Great.

I get the boys inside, strip Zander down and hunt for extra clothes. Miraculously, I have an entire set of clothes for him stocked in the car (go me!). The puke was contained to one towel, one blanket and the floor mat. I hose those down and bring them in to wash with his clothes.

Sheesh!

Mind you, this is the first day the boys see grandpa after finding out he is dying. They both went down to say hello to him.

Later, talking to dad, he said that he noticed that Zander seemed more sad. :sniff:

So we hang out while Kristine, Dustin and Jake prepare to leave. Doug arrives to say goodbye to them. And to take over parenting duties so I can have my Tuesday night.

I relate to Doug that I’m having a really bad day, and instead of feeling comforted by him, I feel annoyed. Clearly, I am not myself. We have a snippy exchange before I go, and I leave, angry and tired.

I get home, and instead of going to the climbing gym, I lay down. And sleep for an hour. I wake up just before 8 PM, and there’s a message from my friend Lisa that she would love to meet for drinks. I consider bailing, but want to fight this urge I have to hibernate and fester.

So I call her up, and we plan to meet at Shuga’s. I have some time before she arrives, so I have a blushing geisha, the daily quiche and *the soup* while I read my latest fluffy mystery novel (Just Plain Pickled to Death by Tamar Myers). Lisa arrives, and things are good. We have a really nice conversation about everything under the sun. I feel my soul renew again. Girlfriends are just the most wonderful people to have in your life.

She orders the quiche, and I have the almond butter cake. Then I order a mojito. And suddenly, it’s 11 PM and there is only one other table occupied in the place.

After we settle up and head out, we chat briefly again outside. I feel *much* better than I would have if I stayed home.

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So, that was yesterday. Today was better. Somehow the morning got away from me, and it was suddenly 12:30 PM. I picked up lunch at Yakitori and brought it to my parents house to have lunch with them before taking them to the airport.

While they finished packing, I played a round of Candyland with the boys. It’s so funny how they still enjoy that game, and adding their own twists (like ‘walking backwards’ and ‘being invisible’ when they land on the same color as their game piece.) We tumbled around on the bed with each other and just had a nice time.

We took my parents to the airport, then headed across town to the AFC for their swim lessons. I swam 750 yards, kind of leisurely, with lots of stopping every 50 – 100 yds, changing up my breathing pattern, working on the TI techniques. 5 minutes before class ended, I showed Zevan where his towel was and said to meet me in the locker room.

There are about 40-50 kids in the pool during that session, and that makes the 6 showers in the locker room very full.

I showered long enough to be done right around the time the boys came in from their lesson. That way they didn’t have to wait in line for a shower.

For some reason, I thought Zevan would show Zander where his towel was and to meet us in the locker room, but he didn’t! After I got Zevan in the shower, I had to go and find Zander, who was looking for both of us. I always forget how specific and literal I need to be with them sometimes.

On our way home, I had a message from mom that Debbie made 3 kinds of lasagna, and could we join them for dinner? We *were* on our way to Red Robin, so I had to convince the boys of our change of plans and we headed over there.

Zander and Zevan went down and chatted with Grandpa, and watched some TV with him. That was nice to watch. Dad was feeling much better today.

We had a nice dinner with the Scott clan – Mom, Dad, Gary, Debbie, Tom and Georgiana (tonight was Doug’s night out). We made plans for another dinner together tomorrow night before Gary and Debbie headed back to California.

It was after 8 PM when we left there – and the boys didn’t get in bed until 9 PM tonight. They start their summer programs next week, and I have GOT to get them in bed by 8 PM! But with that dinner tomorrow, then camping on Friday and them spending the night with cousin Joshua on Saturday, it’s a lost cause.

Oh well. I am longing for the routine that summer programs will bring.

I got my work done for tonight, and now this blog entry. I’m going to watch Make Me a Supermodel and then crawl into bed. I’m tired.