The Healthy Mom

Healthy Body, Mind & Spirit

A few more words about the boys and grandpa

May29

I have such wonderful friends. I’m so glad for the kind words, the prayers and even more, the shared experiences with death and dying – either when they were children themselves, or how they spoke with their children about it.

THE FAMILY
My sister in law Georgiana is the heart and soul of the Scott family. She’s got dad’s power of attorney to make the decisions. She was the one at the hospital during the most harrowing time, trying to understand everything the doctors were telling her in order so she could explain things more simply for mom. She kept me and her 3 brothers updated on dad’s status. She takes pages of handwritten notes – from the doctors, from the hospice nurse.

My brother in law Greg has been down from Ft Collins as much as possible. He brought his children to see Grandpa while he was still in the hospital. I saw how hard it was on Jessica to see her grandpa in that hospital bed – she’s in her 20s. I’m not sure how much Greg has told Joshua (he’s 10), but Josh seemed to handle it well.

My brother in law Gary has called several times from California and spoke with everyone – once we get the routine settled for mom & dad here, I think he’s coming to visit.

TALKING TO THE ZBOYS ABOUT DEATH AND DYING
We are planning to be very honest with the boys about what is going on.

They know about death with a few contexts. Mostly in the circle of life type way by watching documentaries about animals and dinosaurs. And then we had the two dogs die while they were both old enough to miss them.

They are so close to their grandpa – they see 2-3 times a week, and have known him their whole lives. I mean, he picked them up from school just a few days before he went to the hospital. It has all happened so fast.

The tricky thing is that we don’t know at this point if he will live a few more days or a few more months. It’s less about death and more the DYING piece of it that I’m finding hard to explain.

I’m meeting with a mom this weekend who worked in hospice care, to see if she can give me some guidelines so I can do my best at how to best talk with them about everything going on.

AND ME?
I need to find a better way to channel this grieving-induced stress…