These kind of conversations happen fairly often. Today I had two interesting topics to deal with.

Zander: Mom, I can’t wear denim jackets to school.

Me: (very concerned) Oh, why not?

Zander: Because there are people who wear them – I forget what they are called – but they have guns and they hurt people.

Me:

Do you mean gangs? (suppressing smile now)

Zander: Yes, gangs!

Me: Did your teacher tell you this?

Zander: No, E.S. did.

Me: Well, sweetie, not everyone who wears a denim jacket is in a gang. It’s okay to wear one.

Zander: But E.S. said…

Me: I understand, but maybe his mom doesn’t want him to wear one. But I think it’s okay if you do.

Zander: (still unsure) Okay…

Fast-forward 2 hours – we’re in a dressing room in Sears with my mom. She’s buying Zander some shirts and he’s trying them on.

Zevan: My weenie itches.

Zander: (loudly, echoing in the fitting room) You mean, your penis?

This is the first time I hear them use the correct term – we usually use “weenie.”

Zevan: Yes! My penis! (equally loudly)

The shocked look on my mom’s face is flippin priceless.

So I’m wondering, did they talk about penis at school already?

Me: Zander, where did you learn that word?

Zander: From E.W.

Another loud exchange in which each boy says “penis.”

Me: (trying not to laugh) Okay boys, that’s enough. That’s a private word. Let’s use that when we talk to the doctor or at home with mom and and dad.

Zander: So we should just say penis at home?

My mom blanches some more.

Me: Yes, that would be appropriate.

Zander: Okay. (pause) Hey, Zevan – look at my butt!

Sigh. This is my life – the mom of two boys.

I should interject here that I still haven’t figure out what word to use for girl parts. It doesn’t come up very often, and I usually just kind of skirt around the issue. After this experience, I’m not sure I need to introduce “vagina” into their vocabulary.

I’m kind of leaning towards the “va-jay-jay” a la Bailey on Grey’s Anatomy. Or perhaps just “vj” Cripes. I’m totally floundering on this one.

Which reminds me of a blog post from Janalee – VAGINA MONO-BLOG – mother of two girls.