I guess it could have all started with the 2000 Bush/Gore election. Oh the pain of it all!

But that was before we knew how sinister Bush would become.

Then election year 2004 – which was the year I decided to form my own local mom’s group because I couldn’t stomach the politics of the mom’s group I was already in.

How did I recruit? With these simple questions –

Do you live on the West Side?
Do you have preschool kids?
Do you stay or work from home?
Do you recycle?
Do you like to read The Independent?
Do you lean to the left?
Are you hungry for cultural diversity?
Have you ever shopped at Mountain Mama’s or Wild Oats?
If you’ve seen The Daily Show, do you just love it?

A Mom’s Group for Open-Minded, At-Home
Moms of Preschoolers on the West Side

The first meeting of the West Side Moms was a cold, rainy day where no other people came to the park. Four lone moms admitted their party affiliation to each other in this notorious conservative, Lou Dobbs, Amendment 2, homophobic, bible-thumping town – like an AA meeting, we introduced ourselves: “My name is Maida, and I’m a Democrat.”

And what a relief it was to talk with like-minded people. For so long, we could only talk in hushed tones, not knowing if we would offend.

The group grew and grew – those who weren’t geographically westsiders assured me that they were westsiders at heart. Translation – I’m open-minded and reasonable and, oh, liberal in this chokingly conservative town.

Finally, I felt comfortable. Understood. Relieved.

When the election resulted in another term for Bush, I was very disappointed but had friends to commiserate with.

Fast forward to 2008. And I was a John Edwards supporter. Hilary was too abrasive, Obama was too staged – I liked John Edwards.

Even after Obama became our presidential candidate, I thought that John Edwards would be a decent choice for VP.

Then with a typical affair scandal John Edwards broke my political spirit. Bitterness washed over me, and I have still not recovered.

It’s weeks away from election day.

Sarah Palin makes me painfully ill. John McCain is unrecognizable as the man I once knew him to be. My secret hope is that, if elected, he will revert back to his original self and live to serve his full term.

I don’t have Obama Fever. I think he and Biden are an obvious choice over the alternative.

But I’m not hopeful. I live in Colorado Springs where, even on my beloved West Side, lawns are littered with McCain/Palin yard signs.

The one time I ventured out to the NE corridor on a weekend, I saw scores of young people wearing McCain/Palin t-shirts. And just this past Friday, in the parking lot of Monument Valley Park, after my morning run, I saw a dozen people gathering with “Nobama” signs.

Can I also say that I am torn between putting a 5 ft sign on my fence for all to see showing my Democratic tendencies and the fear of vandalism or worse from some crazy right wing thumper? These are the very same people who shoot doctors in abortion clinics.

Sigh.

I don’t watch the news. I don’t watch debates. I watch The Daily Show. I read Mark Morford. It’s the only way I can even stomach the supposed political discourse the media throws at us.

While I will acknowledge some surprising glimmers of hope – like Colorado Veterans for Obama – I can’t embrace it.

I have absolutely no hope in the American general public to make an informed decision. Too many old white people are still nervous around black people. Too many confederate flags still fly in the south and in military installations around the country. Too many right-wing thumpers blindly follow the directives of their religious leaders, fearing that God will strike them down if they don’t. They spout the party line, without even knowing what they are saying. Too many people who will still vote Republican with our growing deficit, failed economy, failed war and a VP candidate who could not be more underqualified for that position. She fucking winks at the camera, people. Winks!

I think that people who don’t vote by absentee ballot (and I’m walking my ballot to the polls on election day, thank you. I don’t trust our postal system) or vote early will be discouraged by long lines at the polls on election day, and might just walk out without voting.

I’m tired of it all. This whole process has been like a cancer on my soul, gnawing away at the healthiest parts of me.

Let’s just get it over with and deal with the aftermath of what we have done.

Aren’t you glad I shared?

::END RANT::