http://birthdayswithoutpressure.org/

Take the quiz: http://birthdayswithoutpressure.org/quiz/Pressure.asp

My results:
7-10 – High pressure. You have come to the right place. Get support for making changes, one child and one birthday party at a time.

I do find them stressful.  Mostly because I worry about not hurting someone’s feelings by not inviting them. 

From Ages 1-4, the parties seem to be really for the family, not specifically for the child.  So it’s hard not to invite everyone.

I don’t like the gift bags either.  It’s kind of like getting toys from fast food places.  We keep a select few, but most go in the trash.  I try to put stuff in our giftbags that are a little more usable, like stickers, necklace beads, bracelets, gliders and wooden train whistles.  As they get older, I’d like for the guests (since there will be less) to do a craft type thing to take home.

I don’t mind the boys receiving gifts, but I’d rather they be things like donations towards school tuition/zoo membership/special classes, educational materials like books, crafting materials or consumables like clothing.  Zander got a pair of PJs from Diego that he loves wearing all the time.  We simply don’t need anymore TOYS. 

I’ve like it more recently when we have had a birthday celebration with the group on playdate day the week of the birthday, then have a smaller family and very close friends party on the weekend.  Well, it’s not always smaller, now that we have both sets of grandparents and 4 sets of aunts/uncles in town.  I love what they do at Buena Vista for birthdays. I made a special poster board with pictures of Zander, and brought cupcakes to school.  They had a special birthday circle time that morning.  Zander really enjoyed it.

Zevan’s birthday is April 18.  I think we’ll have a playdate birthday party at Mr. Biggs for WSMs (his birthday actually falls on a Wed), and a smaller family party that weekend.

This past year, Zander was only in school a few weeks before his birthday, so we didn’t really know his classmates very well. Starting next year (when he turns 5!), I’ll let him decide what kids to invite.  They say a good rule of thumb is as many friends as his age.  So 5 years old = 5 friends.  Then we can do something special and more personal for that day.  Plus a playdate party, and a family party.     It’s a week of birthday celebrations!

One thing we always do before birthdays and Christmas is clean out the toys.  I tell them that they have to give up things so that there is room for new toys.  They are both pretty good about it.  I usually do a first pass myself to get rid of toys they have outgrown or fast food toy junk.  Then they can pick 2-3 toys to give away (or for me to sell).  Zander is really good about it.  If I mention it once, he reminds me we have to get it done before his birthday/Christmas.   

I could probably make some money on eBay if I made the time to get out and sell some of the toys we put away in the crawl space.  An entire Bob the Builder talking playset and a set of Land Before Time rubber puppets…  oh and a set of planes with a rug from Jay Jay…