·:[ The Healthy Mom ]:·
• • • • •

A follow up to the Birthday Party post

One thing that is toy-like and still good for us is LeapPad books/cartridges.  Academically stimulating, using the pen helps with fine motor skills, popular characters that kids love (Thomas, Pooh, Superman, Nemo, etc) AND a great distraction while travelling or sitting at home “bored”.  Now that we have Leapster, too, that gives another avenue.  Feels like a video game, has some learning involved.

Zander and Zevan actually like getting clothes with their favorite characters on them.  They love their superhero / dinosaur / bug pjs at night. 

And books!  They *love* the books!

Sometimes a picture of what the money/gift certificate is for can be a fun thing to give.  Or a related item.  Like a gift certificate towards vacation with sand toys or one for tuition with a backpack or towards martial arts classes, with a gi - etc.

I also don’t mind at all hand me down gifts.  If it still works fine and your child outgrew it, it’s just as good as a brand new something.

That being said, I think we’re getting a trampoline for Zevan’s birthday this year …     Something I’m actually looking forward to using myself!

1. Nervous habits?
I don’t know.  You guys tell me…  I’m sure there’s something

2. Are you double jointed?
Nope

3. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes

4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?
Yes

5. Can you blow spit bubbles?
Yes, but I don’t like to

6. Can you cross your eyes?
Not without putting my finger on my nose and focusing on it

7. Tattoos?
One, and I want to do a different one over it representing the ZBoys, but I don’t know what/how yet.  I’d like one on the small of my back as well.

8. Piercings?
Both ears double pierced and right ear cartilage

9. Do you make your bed daily?
Hell, no.

CLOTHES

10. Which shoe goes on first?
Left

11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at someone?
Yes

12. On average, how much money do you carry?
Never more than $60.  Usually around $10-20 if I have any.

13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
Wedding ring and my ear cartilage ring

14. Favorite piece of clothing?
My black/white running outfit.
My skinny leg jeans

FOOD

15. Do you cut your spaghetti or twirl it?
Twirl

16. Have you ever eaten Spam?
Yes.

17. Do you use extra salt on your food?
On my fruit, but not much else

18. How many cereals are in your cabinet?
Frosted Flakes for me.  Fruit Loops/Apple Jacks for the boys.  Rice krispies for making treats

19. What’s your favorite beverage?
Maidarita, Margarita, Diet Coke

20. What’s your favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fil A

21. Do you cook?
If I have to

GROOMING

22. How often do you brush your teeth?
Once a day

23. Hair drying method?
Air dry or a quick & dirty blow dry if I have 5-10 extra minutes.

24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?
Yes.  Variations on a theme. Blue/black, red/black, maroon/black, purple/black

MANNERS

25. Do you swear?
A lot less than I used to before kids.  I like to say FRAK - a lot.  Serves its purpose well.

26. Do you ever spit?
Yes, sometimes when running.

FAVORITE

27. Animal?
Tiger or wolf

28. Food?
Dark Chocolate

29. Month?
May - warm, but not hot

30. Day of the week?
Saturday, no school for Zander so we can sleep in!

31. Cartoon?
Teen Titans

32. Shoe brand?
Asics for running, Aerosoles for every day comfort, and whatever’s cute for dressing up

33. Subject in school?
Math

34. Color?
Purple

35. Sport?
Martial Arts for me.  NFL to watch

36. TV show?
Grey’s Anatomy, Heroes, Lost, 24

37. Thing to do in the spring?
Spring purging/cleaning, hiking

38. Thing to do in the summer?
Hiking, summer vacation at the beach

39. Thing to do in the fall?
My favorite time of year for clothing!  I love boots and jeans and layers.  Hiking

40. Thing to do in the winter?
Sledding!

IN AND AROUND

41. In the CD player?
I have no idea.  I have a good playlist on my iPod, though.

42. Person you talk most on the phone with?
I don’t like the phone.

43. Reading?
Currently nothing but magazines - In Style, and various home improvement rags

44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors?
Only if I’m feeling particularly confident.  Which is not often.

45. What color is your bedroom?
White walls, rustic pine furniture, black wrought iron bed, hints of purple

46. Do you use an alarm clock?
Yes, his name is Zander

47. Window seat or aisle?
I like the window, but the aisle is more convenient with the kiddos   Me too!

DUMB

48. What’s your sleeping position?
Side - supported or stomach

49. Even in hot weather, do you use a blanket?
I like a sheet when it’s hot.

50. Do you snore?
Not usually.

51. Do you sleepwalk?
When I was younger I did, but not anymore.

52. Do you talk in your sleep?
Sometimes.  If I get in a deep enough sleep to dream.

53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Nope, but I do like to curl myself around Zevan.

54. How about with the light on?
I can’t stand any light when I’m sleeping.   Unless I watched a scary movie or show.  Then will definitely sleep with the light on.

55. Do you fall asleep with the radio or TV on?
Sometimes the TV - but it’s not intentional

DONE!

Hillary is too polarizing, and Barack isn’t black enough.

So…  I’m currently backing John Edwards - for his stance on environmental issues AND universal health care.  And he’s the most electable of the candidates. 

Here are his current platform issues: http://johnedwards.com/about/issues/

You can find other local supporters at One Corp.  Currently there is a CARE package project going on for the troops: http://blog.johnedwards.com/event/491

This is from www.johnedwards.com

Get excited!! You’re invited to join John Edwards this Thursday, in downtown Denver, Colorado.

WHAT: A campus rally with John Edwards.

WHEN: This Thursday, March 1, 2007 at 3:30 PM

WHERE: Tivoli Student Union, Turnhalle.
Auraria Campus - Metropolitan State College of Denver
900 Auraria Parkway
Denver, CO 80204.
This event is free and open to the public.
Please let us know if you plan to attend by clicking here.
No RSVP or tickets required.
For more information please call 720-221-9211.

http://birthdayswithoutpressure.org/

Take the quiz: http://birthdayswithoutpressure.org/quiz/Pressure.asp

My results:
7-10 – High pressure. You have come to the right place. Get support for making changes, one child and one birthday party at a time.

I do find them stressful.  Mostly because I worry about not hurting someone’s feelings by not inviting them. 

From Ages 1-4, the parties seem to be really for the family, not specifically for the child.  So it’s hard not to invite everyone.

I don’t like the gift bags either.  It’s kind of like getting toys from fast food places.  We keep a select few, but most go in the trash.  I try to put stuff in our giftbags that are a little more usable, like stickers, necklace beads, bracelets, gliders and wooden train whistles.  As they get older, I’d like for the guests (since there will be less) to do a craft type thing to take home.

I don’t mind the boys receiving gifts, but I’d rather they be things like donations towards school tuition/zoo membership/special classes, educational materials like books, crafting materials or consumables like clothing.  Zander got a pair of PJs from Diego that he loves wearing all the time.  We simply don’t need anymore TOYS. 

I’ve like it more recently when we have had a birthday celebration with the group on playdate day the week of the birthday, then have a smaller family and very close friends party on the weekend.  Well, it’s not always smaller, now that we have both sets of grandparents and 4 sets of aunts/uncles in town.  I love what they do at Buena Vista for birthdays. I made a special poster board with pictures of Zander, and brought cupcakes to school.  They had a special birthday circle time that morning.  Zander really enjoyed it.

Zevan’s birthday is April 18.  I think we’ll have a playdate birthday party at Mr. Biggs for WSMs (his birthday actually falls on a Wed), and a smaller family party that weekend.

This past year, Zander was only in school a few weeks before his birthday, so we didn’t really know his classmates very well. Starting next year (when he turns 5!), I’ll let him decide what kids to invite.  They say a good rule of thumb is as many friends as his age.  So 5 years old = 5 friends.  Then we can do something special and more personal for that day.  Plus a playdate party, and a family party.     It’s a week of birthday celebrations!

One thing we always do before birthdays and Christmas is clean out the toys.  I tell them that they have to give up things so that there is room for new toys.  They are both pretty good about it.  I usually do a first pass myself to get rid of toys they have outgrown or fast food toy junk.  Then they can pick 2-3 toys to give away (or for me to sell).  Zander is really good about it.  If I mention it once, he reminds me we have to get it done before his birthday/Christmas.   

I could probably make some money on eBay if I made the time to get out and sell some of the toys we put away in the crawl space.  An entire Bob the Builder talking playset and a set of Land Before Time rubber puppets…  oh and a set of planes with a rug from Jay Jay… 

For every thing I have control of in my life in a week, there are two other things that have fallen by the wayside.

My husband, each child, my weight, my work, our home, my parents, my chores, my running, my climbing, this group, my friends, myself…

I can only do so much at once.  If I try to succeed everywhere, I succeed nowhere.  Jack of all trades, master of none, as it were.

But I can just let myself acknowledge, even celebrate, the little things, and try and add things to my routine that give me a little structure and habit to do things that I want to do (like scheduled time for playdates, climbing, running and nookie ) 

If I spend just 15 minutes cuddling with Zevan on the couch reading him books, then he is okay to play on his own for an hour afterwards.  If I stop to really listen to one of Zander’s diatribes about his creature of the day, he will go off and find something to do after he knows I heard what he had to say and really paid attention.

So now I am struggling with the weight loss thing.  I was SO gung ho with 8 lbs in 8 weeks, and now I’ll be lucky to lose anything at all by March 1. 

Oh, I hate SPAM. And I get LOTS of it.

I had to change my long time (since 1995) email address of maida AT maida.net because it got so much SPAM.

I use JunkSweep in Outlook, and that gets the bulk of it. I still have to skim through it, though - just in case. I also still have to grab it all and delete it. Hundreds of messages a day.

So, my web hosting company, WestHost finally offered a partial solution to it. Using Real-Time Blackhole List (RBL). I installed that last night!

And, I finally fixed the biggest culprit of all today. We had a contact form on our family website that used the well know MSA formmail script. And some - I think many - SPAMmers were using it to send SPAM through our website. And we would get hundreds of these emails, all day, everyday with the “WWW Form Submission” subject line.

SO… I replaced that form with Tectite’s Formmail PHP script.

Since I did that, I haven’t had an email with the dreaded “WWW Form Submission” subject line. Imagine that. Yahoo!

Things are always better the next day.  After some food, some chocolate and some sleep. 

I’m okay today.  Still irritated but less so.  I got lots of kisses and sweetness this morning.

And I probed things a bit further with Zander.  Yesterday, I asked Zander about the balloon incident *right* after the birthday boy started crying.  He said that he “popped him” which I took to mean that he punched him.  He has hit with his fists before (usually Zevan), and gotten severely reprimanded for it.  He never does it without some kind of provocation, and he did say that the birthday boy tried to hit him with the balloon, but Zander got hit with his elbow instead.  So Zander “popped” him.  We had a talk about how we never hit friends and that the boy didn’t hit him on purpose - an accident.  He had a time out. 

Zander had to apologize 3 times (because the first time the boy was crying so hard, I think he didn’t hear it.  The second time he was clinging on to his dad, so the final time was because he was finally standing on his own.

This morning, I asked Zander what happened.   He said again, “I popped him.” 

“With what,?” I asked.

 ”With the pop balloon.   In the chest.” 

So it wasn’t as bad as I thought.  And the dad later mentioned to me that his son is very sensitive. 

Here’s my biggest advice about parenting two children: You will lose your patience and your temper.  As long as this happens less frequently than patient, loving discipline, your kids will be okay.  I *always* apologize for losing my temper, but explain exactly why I did.  I never let them off the hook for their behavior, but I will take responsibility for my own. 

Zander and Zevan still tell me that they love me, and come to me when they need comfort, so I must be doing *SOMETHING* right. 

Someone please take my children.  I am tired.  Of their attitude.  Of their crap.  Of their behavior. 

Zevan has gotten louder and more defiant in the last week.  Zander continues to act like a 13 year old with his frakking attitude, but like a 2 year old with his frakking tantrums.

We had a birthday party to go to today and Zander had been looking forward to it all week.  An hour before the party time, Zander had a HUGE tantrum about not wanting to go.  We talked about obligation:

M: How would you feel if your friend said they were coming for a playdate and then they didn’t come?
Z: I would feel nothing.
M: Inside:   Outwardly, I calmly say, “I don’t think that’s true.  I think you would be disappointed and maybe sad.”
Z: I said I would feel nothing.

Oh. My. God.  WTF?!  I wanted to wring his neck.  Instead, I tried… a few other situations, and he continued to say he’d feel NOTHING.

Finally:
M: What if I said we were going to the zoo, and then said, “NO.  We’re not going.”  How would that make you feel? 
He gave me a dirty look and said nothing.

We finally got things worked out and he was back in a “good mood” to go to the party.

The party went okay, but then he ended the party by punching the birthday boy.  FAN-FRAKKIN-TASTIC.  Can you say MORTIFIED?!?!?

Someone kidnap me and whisk me away to Margaritaville, PLEASE!

I’m definitely seeing military school in Zander’s future at this point.

Bye, honey!  See you on the weekends!   

I can’t even start on Zevan’s antics.  I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

I don’t have time to post all my run data, but here’s a quick overview of the past few weeks:

I’m down 1.2 from last week, but only down .8 lb overall, which is a bit of a discouragement, since my original goal was 8 lbs in 8 weeks.   

I am just struggling with my motivation.  I can’t seem to get it back…   

Here’s something encouraging, though.  I did measurements and I did lose a little bit there.  1″ from my waist, 1/2″ from my upper arm and 1/4″ from each thigh.  So, though my weight doesn’t show it, my troublespots do. 

Balance Log stopped working on my computer.  I haven’t had time to troubleshoot it, though.  I haven’t been tracking my calories for two weeks now. 

But I ran 3 times last week and we went for a hike yesterday in Garden of the Gods.  I also went climbing twice last week.  I have been doing the T-Tapp Organs in Place when I remember to, probably 4 times last week.  I also do this Five Minute Pilates workout at least 3 times a week.

If only I could get my eating under control… 

I’m going for a run now.

Your aura shines Orange!

 Take this quiz!

Naomi had her baby!

Kristi had her baby!

Well, I am up over a pound and basically back at my starting weight.  I’m going to blame some of it on my menstrual cycle starting and the rest on my inability to stop eating those little quiches Joy made for Dom’s birthday party.

Seeing those numbers on the scale really threw me for a loop, and it’s all I can do not to down a bag of chocolates.  Weight gain + menstrual cycle = HIGH URGE to comfort eat.

I desperately need to make a You-turn, so I’m switching my running days to M,W,F and will try and get back on BL today.  I might need to fast tomorrow to reset.  Or just make it a 900 calorie day.

Gotta run!  Literally  

George W. Bush is trying—yet again—to slash funding for NPR and PBS. This week, Bush proposed a new budget with devastating cuts to public broadcasting.1 “Sesame Street” and other ad-free kids’ shows are under the knife. So is the independent journalism our country needs.

Enough is enough. We’ve fought this fight before and won—but we can’t afford the risk anymore. With the new Congress, we can make sure this never happens again. We need Congress to insulate NPR and PBS from the political winds.

We can make it happen if enough of us sign this petition: “Congress must save NPR and PBS once and for all. Congress should guarantee permanent funding and independence from partisan meddling.” Clicking here will add your name to the petition:

http://civ.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/o.pl?id=9860-6789171-NNPDS8Anry5ZFkQyT7NdkA&t=2

After you sign, please forward this email to your friends, family, and co-workers to keep this campaign going. We’ll deliver the petition to members of Congress as they consider Bush’s budget—offering a public counterpoint to this dangerous attack.

Congress can protect NPR and PBS from future cuts. The long-term solution to save public radio and TV is to:

fully restore this year’s funding
guarantee a permanent funding stream free from political pressure
reform how the money is spent and keep partisan appointees from pushing a political bias

Bush’s budget would cut federal funds for public broadcasting by nearly 25%.1 According to PBS, the cuts “could mean the end of our ability to support some of the most treasured educational children’s series” like “Sesame Street,” “Reading Rainbow,” and “Arthur.”2

As telecommunications chair Rep. Ed Markey said, “In a 24-7 television world with content often inappropriate for young children, the public broadcasting system represents an oasis of quality, child-oriented educational programming. We owe America’s children and their parents this free, over-the-air resource.”1

The cuts could also decimate one of the last remaining sources of watchdog reporting on TV—continuing the partisan war on journalism led by the ex-chair of public broadcasting, Ken Tomlinson.3 More people trust public broadcasting than any corporate news media.4 President Bush would rather undermine our free press than face reporters who are asking tough questions.

Let’s put an end to the constant threats to NPR and PBS. Let’s ask Congress to guarantee funding and stop partisan meddling. Clicking here will add your name to the petition:

http://civ.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/o.pl?id=9860-6789171-NNPDS8Anry5ZFkQyT7NdkA&t=3

Thank you for all you do.

–Noah, Marika, Eli, Adam G. and the MoveOn.org Civic Action Team
Thursday, February 8th, 2007

P.S. Our friends at Free Press have more on how to save NPR and PBS once and for all:

http://www.freepress.net/publicbroadcasting/=policy

Sources:
1. “Bush Proposes Steep Cut to PBS Funding,” TV Week, February 5, 2007
http://www.tvweek.com/news.cms?newsId=11508

2. PBS’ Ready to Learn program (funds “Sesame Street” and other children’s shows)
http://www.pbs.org/readytolearn/

3. “Tomlinson Slinks Away,” MediaCitizen, November 3, 2005
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=2347&id=9860-6789171-NNPDS8Anry5ZFkQyT7NdkA&t=4

4. “2005 ‘Open to the Public’ Objectivity and Balance Report,” Corporation for Public Broadcasting, January 31, 2006
http://www.cpb.org/aboutcpb/goals/objectivity/

Today is Joe Priole’s birthday. He would have been 37 years old today, if he hadn’t died on September 21, 2005. He had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

Motherhood changes everything, particularly your perspective on events. I can’t watch movies or read books anymore where children are killed/injured/kidnapped/tortured. It’s far too disturbing. My biggest fear in life is that one of my children, or my husband, dies.

With two miscarriages, both after we had already seen the heartbeat, I experienced loss so deeply that it changed my life forever. I will never be the same. I believe that is only a *small* taste of what losing a child after he is born could be.

When Fran called me to tell me that Joe had died, it was shocking. And unbelievably deeply sad. I felt guilty that I hadn’t seen him or called him after I found out he was sick. I always figured there was time. Death seemed so unlikely that it never entered possibility in my mind.

All I could think about was Joe’s family, particularly his mom. She was so kind to me when I knew her, even when my own boyfriend’s mom was so unkind. And my heart broke for her, in a way I never knew before I had my sons. Of course, it was devastating to everyone who loved him, but a mother’s love is like no other, and her heartbreak is like no other.

I tried to figure out a way to get back for the service that week. To fly with 2 kids would have cost me over $1000 that I simply didn’t have. They don’t offer bereavement fares for old friends. My parents didn’t live here yet, and there wasn’t time to find someone to watch the kids while Doug was at work so I could go on my own. I spent a few hours trying to figure out a way to go there, and I just couldn’t make it work.

So I did the only think I could do from here. I set up a memorial website for him, where people could light a candle for him and leave a message. I get notices every time someone lights a candle. Over the last 24 hours, there have been a few, reminding me of Joe’s birthday and of his passing.

So during my hour long run this morning, I spent 45 minutes of it reminiscing about Joe. Here’s the thing. Joe and I knew each other many lifetimes ago - before I had kids, before I got married, before I finished college, before I joined the Air Force… Joe and I were friends through my high school boyfriend, Mike Coady. But my interaction with Joe basically ended when I enlisted in the US Air Force in August of 1988. Mike and I nearly made married, but didn’t.

We kept in spotty contact after that.

My memories of Joe are all from high school and shortly after high school. Some highlights: he’s is the only guy I personally know that was involved in a police car chase. He hooked up with a couple of my girlfriends while I dated Mike C. I had a very brief, purely innocent, little love affair with his little brother before I enlisted. He had the nickname “The Impregnator.” He was the driver in an accident where I ended up on my one and only ambulance ride. He and Mike Hohenstein loved to play practical jokes. Particularly where Mike C and I were the victims. There was the night the Bon Jovi tickets went on sale. And the incident when Joe ran into the back of Mike H’s car on prom night. There was a lot of drinking. A lot of fighting. A lot of goofing around.

Joe had the most mischievous grin - he’d get *that* look, and you knew he was up to something. You might end up at the top of the Art Museum steps or passed out drunk on the sofa… you would never know which until it was too late. When the Mikes would argue, he always smoothed it over. And he was loyal to a fault. You knew - no matter what and without a doubt - that Joe had your back. Joe fiercely loved his family. And everyone loved Joe.

Sometime in the early 90s, the gang of us went out in Philadelphia when I was visiting from Colorado with Doug (then boyfriend, now husband). Some club with an Egyptian name/theme. It was a reunion of sorts - Mike C, Mike H, Joe, Doug Hunt, Steve Maserick. It was obvious all of our lives were in different places, but for one night, it was drinks and dancing.

I saw him one other time after that when I visited the martial arts school on a visit to NJ to see my folks. He and Mike H were both dating Filipina girls, which I thought was very amusing.

After that, my visits back to NJ were limited to the Cape May timeshare, and I stopped trying to make arrangements to meet with Mike H and Joe. Mostly because Mike H’s girlfriend inexplicably forbade him from contact with me, even though my relationship with him was YEARS before they even met. Why Mike endures a relationship with so little trust is beyond me, but if that’s what makes him happy, so be it. Not my problem. Life goes on.

I’m not big into Instant Messaging. I turn it on when I’m working on a website project with someone, and that’s about it. I usually make myself invisible to anyone else that might try to contact me while it’s on. Otherwise, it’s an interruption to my work time or my online play time, mostly on the West Side Moms forums. Joe was on my IM buddy list. I came back to my computer once and there was a message from him “Are you ignoring me?” By the time I got it, he was offline, and we never connected. That was the last I ever heard from him.

And that’s it. My memories of Joe. Rest in peace, man.