Today was Zander’s first day in the Primary Elementary Montessori class at Buena Vista Elementary. It’s a day every mom looks at with a mix of pride and sadness.

It never really hit me until last night. I mean, sure I bought the school supplies, we went to the open house and met his teacher, Miss Catherine… but it did not sink in until last night.

Doug asked him before bed what he wanted for breakfast. Boiled eggs and Toaster Streudel. So, Doug boiled the eggs that night.

I stayed out with late with my girlfriends at Village Inn. When I got home, it was nearly eleven! I finished up Zander’s paperwork for school (emergency contacts, etc), put them in a Mickey Mouse folder, and placed the folder in his Justice League backpack.

Then, I picked out some clothes for use as his back-up / spare clothes at school. I neatly labeled each sock, then his underwear, pants and 2 shirts (one long sleeve, one short sleeve) with “Z. Scott”. I tried to pick clothes that he would recognize as his, but would not miss as part of his everyday rotation. I lovingly packed them along with a pull up (just in case), spare ba-ba (blankie) and a Downey dryer sheet, into the requisite gallon Ziploc bag, also marked “Z. Scott.” And placed it inside his backpack as well. Along with a ba-ba for school use.

I picked out some socks, underwear and jeans for him to wear in the morning. I figured that he could pick the shirt when he woke up. I picked out my clothes for the next day, too. I took a shower and did my usual evening routine.

Then I climbed into bed with Zander and snuggled up to him to sleep.

Sometime during the night, Zevan woke up calling for me, and I pulled him into Zander’s bed, too.

I woke up a little before 7 AM and started my morning routine. I pulled back the curtains in Zander’s room so he would wake up more easily. “Good morning!” I said to him cheerfully. “First day of school!” He just stared back at me. I continued my morning routine and a few minutes later, he was greeting each of us with a happy “Good Morning, Mom!” “Good Morning, Dad!”

“Zevan, are you awake yet?”
“No, I’m still sleeping.”
“But it’s good morning time.”

Doug started his breakfast. I got Zevan up and on the potty with some protest “I’m still sleepy…” He joined Zander for breakfast. After the usual over-energetic breakfast antics, Zander came up to get dressed. He picked out his red Superman t-shirt.

Socks, shoes, backpack, and we were out the door. “I need my backpack, too!” chimed Zevan. So we brought it. Doug videotaped Zander briefly in the car.

We arrived at school just as the morning bell was ringing. We all piled out of the car and headed towards his classroom. Doug recorded Zander walking up to the classroom. I took his hand, and immediately felt knots in my stomach and tears in my eyes. I took several deep breaths as we walked to keep from actually crying.

We got there the same time as Emmett and Johanna. I walked in to sign Zander in, and he was eagerly entering the doorway.

Doug and I had to remind him to say good-bye to us. We came in and met the teacher’s aides. One of whom I had met before! Another Filipina! Miss Lulu. And also Miss Marge. Zander took off his shoes, put them in the cubby and ran over to Miss Catherine and gave her a big hello and a hug. He took his place in the circle of children. I waved to his teacher.

She asked Zander, ” Do you want to say good-bye to your mom?”

“I already did!”

And that was it. Zevan didn’t want to leave the classroom, so I was occupied with distracting him so we could go home. I held him close and cried, just a little, as we walked back to the car. Doug gave me a little reassuring hug.

“That seemed so natural. I don’t even feel weepy,” he said.

“I do.”

We took Doug to his car and then Zevan and I went to my parents house. I didn’t even know my mom was home, but I was glad she had off today. She made me breakfast

I didn’t want to go home. I would have been too distracted to do anything anyway. Zevan and I hung out there until it was time to pick Zander up. I cuddled him a lot, danced with him to Radio Disney and even played trains with him. It was good.

We went to pick Zander up and saw Johanna and Charlie. Zander and Emmett were playing in the sandbox. We just watched him for a while. When I put Zevan down, he ran over to the fence and Zander saw him. “Zevan!” “Zander!” It was a cute exchange. I came in to sign him out and Miss Marge and Miss Lulu told me that Zander had a very good morning. “He is very sociable,” she said. She gave me some drawings that Zander did. Zander said that he painted something, too. But it wasn’t dry yet.

We hung out a bit in the playground and then Zander said he was ready to go. So we did.