So tired.

So, I got up to run the race at 5:45 AM so I could get wash up, get dressed and meet Tiffany at the finish line to leave one of our cars since it was a one way race.

And I hear Doug’s cell phone ringing at 6 AM. Then our house phone. I see the Caller ID “something burglar something” I need to leave like now, so I don’t answer it. While I”m brushing my teeth, Doug come out of the bedroom and asks, who is calling? I say, toothbrush in my mouth, “something burglar something” WHAT?!?, he exclaims and starts making calls.

Seriously, I need to be leaving the house. I hear, “so are the police still there?” part of Doug’s conversation. He has to go down to the store now. I need to leave for the race. The boys are sleeping.

I call my dad. He’s awake! “Can you come over right now?” Sure. Doug leaves. I wait for my dad. It’s taking too long. I know he’s on the way, so I leave the house. I’m headed down Mesa Road towards Uintah…and calling my dad’s cell. “I’m in the driveway!” he answers.

I call Tiffany to say I’m running late and pick her up. We head to the race start. Doug calls to let me know that someone did actually break into the store. The bathroom window was broken and the metal screen was cut. Nothing was stolen, though. So that’s good.

We meet up with May, eating Jelly Belly Sport beans from our race packets. Candy was kind enough to lend me her MP3 player so I fumble with it a bit to get it on. I always have trouble with earpieces. I think I have weirdly small ears.

BANG! And we’re off. All together for the first 4 minutes, then I have to slow down because 1) I’m still fumbling with the MP3 player and 2) I’m already getting winded! I watch May & Tiffany disappear into the distance, and settle in to the music on Candy’s playlist. Starts off with a nice Alanis Morissette song I keep fiddling with the ear buds and the wires to find a good place for them. I am also trying to find my pace. And I am people watching. It’s a nice way to distract myself during a race.

You know what’s nice about listening to an MP3 player? I don’t have to hear my heart monitor constantly beeping at me telling me that I’m WAY over my target heart rate.

I finished mile 1 in 09:47.7. That’s the fastest I have run a mile, that’s for sure. And I’m feeling it. There’s no way I can keep this pace throughout the race. Time to slow down a bit. Hey, there goes the building I worked in when I was at Marketscape/Mobilize. Those were the days! I miss those days.

“Find yourself another soul to hold. You think, you thought, I know
Off upon my journey I must go. To where the river flows… To where the river flows…” To Where the River Flows, Collective Soul

I finished mile 2 at 20:08.6. That’s 10:20.9 – which is really good, and I’m feeling okay. I feel a few twinges in my shins. Dangit. More music listening and people watching. I need to get me one of these MP3 players.

“But he’s driving and striving and hugging the turns, And thinking of someone for whom he still burns. He’s going the distance, He’s going for speed…” – Going the Distance, Cake

Where the heck is that mile 3 marker? Hrm… Turns out there wasn’t one. At 31:10.4, I press my watch button. That’s 10:39.5, which is pretty much my pace right now. There are guys fishing here, just off of Garden of the Gods. I didn’t know you could fish here. How weird.

Argh. There is a woman in front of me walking. WALKING! What the heck? Surely I can catch up to her while she’s walking. Man, she’s walking fast. She must be one of those people who walk/run alternately. Okay, I passed her. Now I’m getting tired.

I complete mile 4 at 41:33.1. 10.22.7 If this was a 5k, I would have been done .9 miles ago. Oooh, it’s shady here. Much better. Oh, and now we’re off concrete, and onto an actual trail. Nice. Familiar territory. We came up this far from Cache La Poudre. Candy’s playlist tempo has slowed down, this must be her usual cool down time. I fiddle with the controls to get back to the faster paced music. Hey, how did that walker woman get in front of me again? Dangit.

“Green to red, I walk from my machine, I walk from my machine, Breathe in, breathe out, Breathe in, breathe out, Breathe in” – Machine Head, Bush

That’s what I’m talking about… Bye-bye, walker lady.

52.12.3 at mile 5. Woohoo 10:39.2 Just 1.2 miles to go. Just keep running, just keep running… I’ve never run this far before. And I know I can run for an hour at least.

Home stretch. mile 6 at 1:02:34.9! 10:22.6 for the final full mile! Just .2 miles to go. I hear the music from the DJ. I take out the ear buds. I see the finish line. I get confused on the course, this official looking guy is standing next to a tree, and I start going that way. I turn, saying, “Is this it?” No! Shit. So I curve back onto the trail and start booking. I can see the clock now. 1:03:49 Can I make it under 1:04:00??? I run as FAST as I can.

1:04:02.0 I’m done! I’m done! I’m done! Yippee!!!

So, this marathon thing. While I was running this morning, I started to panic about it a little bit.

I wish I could blog while I run. I have a lot of great ideas while I’m running. I converse with myself, think things through.

I think you’ve heard it before from me. I hate running. On my running days, I dread it. I procrastinate.

This morning I found all sorts of little things to postpone my run – clean the kitchen counter, thrown in a load of laundry, find my heart rate monitor and the strap, play with the boys…

When I am running, I am constantly thinking about not running. I flipflop on my goal. I’m going to run for 30 minutes then turn around. No, wait, I”m going to run to the GOG lookout point and turn around. No, I’m just going to run for 30 minutes and turn around. And so forth. And I set little goals throughout the run to keep my mind busy. When I get to THAT shady spot, I’ll walk a little. When I get to the Xeriscape garden… When I get to Kissing Camels…

When I reached the GOG lookout point, I had been running for 28:30. So then I switched to my 30 minute goal. Which I then switched to need to get to 30th. Which I almost got to – at 31:00 minutes. There was a suspicious looking guy stretching under a tree so I turned around.

I’m always happy to be running back to my starting point. Then the bargaining with myself starts all over again. Well, I’ll see if I can keep running to Kissing Camels. Once I get there, okay, I’ll try to get to Fillmore. At the light, it’s all I can do to NOT stop running while waiting for the light to turn green. I just jog in place. At that point, it’s a mile back to my house. I think, if i get to the 55 MPH sign, I’ll start walking from there, roughly about 1/2 mile from my house. At one point, I thought I had already past it, so when I did actually pass it, I thought, “Sh*t, I still have 1/2 mile to go.”

It felt good to run all the way to the 19th. And then I was done. And it wasn’t so bad. I’m thinking now that I will be able to run the whole 10K.

While running, I was panicking a little bit about my pact to run a marathon before I turn 40. Am I crazy?! I hate running. It’s 5.7 times the distance I ran today.

One step at a time. This year I ran my first 5k, then ran 2 more 5ks. Double the distance – I’m going to run a 10 K this Saturday. After the 10k, I am going to train for a half marathon – at sea level next year. Double the distance plus. After that, I double again to a marathon in 2008

Possible half marathons for next year:
March 17, 2007 Six Tunnels Half Marathon, Las Vegas, NV
March 18, 2007, Arizona Distance Classic Half Marathon, Oro Valley,AZ
March 31, 2007, 2nd Annual Laughlin Road Run Half Marathon, Laughlin, NV
August 19, 2007,The 30th Annual AFC Half Marathon, San Francisco, CA
September 2, 2007 Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon, Virginia Beach, VA

I ran for an hour straight this morning. Just 4.6 miles in 1:02:51 For me, it was a good easy pace, about a 13:28 minute mile. My goal was to be able to run continuously for an hour, and I did. And I feel pretty good right now. I’ll probably crash this afternoon while the boys nap.

Race day is always different, though. I’m not sure where to set my goal. Maybe 1:15:00 – 1:20:00.

I don’t think i can expect to run my 10 minute mile 5K pace for my first 10K race. Especially since I haven’t really been training…

We did climb last night, so that’s good!

I’m running the Classic 10K race on Saturday, July 29 at 7 AM. It starts at Tiffany Square, runs along the Santa Fe Trail and ends downtown. Wish me luck! I ran 3 times last week, between 3-4 miles. I was supposed to run this morning, but I overslept and now its too hot.

AND, I made a pact with May that I would run a marathon before I turn 40. That’s right! A marathon. And by typing it here, I have made it official. I turn 38 in December, so it gives me 2 years to train. What have I done?!?!

Zevan has been his own little terror lately.

I don’t WANT to do dat.

Mom, you can GO now.

I NEED that

He clenches his little fists and sets his jaw and starts swinging. Usually he smashes his toys. Or sometimes tries to hit me, Dad or Zander.

We’ve been calling him The Hulk for his rage issues.

So far, time out has been working pretty good for stuff like not wanting to stop playing so he can eat. I put him in a chair and tell him that he can’t play instead of eat. He can either eat now or he can stay in time out and let me know when he’s ready to eat. After about 5-10 minutes, of us ignoring his little tantrum, he’ll come back and say, “I’m ready to eat now.”

Sigh. I keep hearing that one day we’ll look back on these days fondly…I wonder when that starts? When they move out?

You must see this site. I cried after reading the posts and looking at the pictures these women posted.

http://shapeofamother.blogspot.com

Photos of bare bellies, nursing and childbirth – just in case you are at work when you click this link

Zevan is 2 years, 3 months, and I have been trying to lose that last 10 lbs since he was 8 months old.   

I’m done with the scale until September.

I’m still going to try and eat healthy, but I’m not going to beat myself over ice cream on a hot summer night.  I’m tired of disappointing myself. 

It’s reminding me of how I felt when I was TTC and every month I got my period, I was devastated.  I feel like that now when I get on the scale.  UGH.  I can’t live like that.  It’s putting me in a bad place, mentally 

I’ve got too much going on right now to worry about weight loss.  I can’t take the pressure.  I want to take my boys for swim lessons, help with projects at the store and around the house, and spend time with my parents. 

That being said, I’m still trying to run that 10K in two weeks.  Well, run as much of it as I can, anyway.  If I run 5K and walk the rest, that’s okay with me. 

I ran with May and Tiffany on Friday.  And I ran today, partly by myself, and partly with May and another mom May knows who is SPEEDY. 

Right now my plan is to run every other day until the two days before the race.  We’ll see how that goes, I guess. 

And, my favorite workout, climbing!  Monday nights, of course.  I may try and go on my own to boulder during the day at least one day a week.  I should do that.  I like doing it. 

I’m trying to figure out a way to study martial arts.   While Tae Bo is fun, I really want to get back to real martial arts training.  It’s the cost that is prohibiting me right now.  I need to figure something out.   

So, that’s my new attitude.  I’m off the calorie counting and working on exercising.  My hope is that I will just maintain my weight for now.  I’ll revisit the calorie counting in the fall.