I’m back at 132.4 and I’m stuck there.  The scale won’t budge.  I’m not counting all calories while I train for the run…I’m just making sure I don’t overeat too much and eating a good variety of foods. 

I ran the GOG course today with May and Tiffany.  The fastest runners from our group.  May runs every day, at least 3 miles.  Tiffany has been running since she was 8 years old…although she is coming off of a hiatus from running since about the time she got pregnant with Eli.  I have never been a runner. 

I was nervous about running with them, to be honest.  I got there late because Zander insisted that only *I* could change his diaper.  “And there’s not too much poop in my diaper, Mom.”  Great.   

I met May in the Visitor Center parking lot and we were off!  And at a decent pace for me.  We chatted a bit as we ran.   I struggled a bit with my end of the conversation, but it was okay. As we passed the 150 ft to the main parking lot sign, Tiffany honked and whistled at us.  She joined us at the steepest part of the course and around the bend.  Last time I was at this part of the course, I slowed to a walk.  Not this time.  Too much peer pressure.   

I fell into a pace behind them – close enough to still hear the conversation, but at this point, I wasn’t able to talk much.     As I was running, and because I actually ventured out in shorts, I became acutely aware of my upper thighs rubbing against each other with each step.  And then I noticed, much to my chagrin, that it was physically impossible for May’s or Tiffany’s thighs to touch while they ran.   

This fact bemused me for a good quarter mile of running, I think.     I thought to myself…I need to get a body wrap.    Soon.  Until then, I need to buy those longer bike shorts to wear under my running shorts. 

As we passed the south parking lot, I started getting the urge to slow down to a walk.  But I didn’t.  “Just keep running, just keep running”  I thought to myself.  Normally I would say it aloud – when I run by myself, I do.    They were chatting and I listened.  It really helped the time pass.

And then all of a sudden, I could see the stop sign where we would turn back towards the visitor center.  We ran along the trail towards the entrance gate.  I actually ran the whole thing!     And I felt pretty good…not completely exhausted or out of breath.    May said we did it under 35 minutes, too.   

May and I walked to the car while Tiffany headed back on the course to finish her loop.  We decided we would climb for an hour today, just to get some upper body work in. 

I feel really good about running today!  That was great!   

I’m running the same course on Mondays at 11:15 AM with my friend Lanel, whose pace is slower than mine, so it will be up to me to keep up the pace I ran today somehow.   

I’m tired now.    If I didn’t have a bunch of stuff to do before Zevan’s birthday party tomorrow, I would be sleeping right now. 

Hrmph.  Zander just peed on the floor in the office. 

I ran the full course at Garden of the Gods today…killer.    Just a little bit of walking, maybe 2 minutes total.

My plan is to run it on Fridays at 10:15 AM (with May) and Mondays at 11:15 AM (with Lanel)

This was in response to my friend Megan who had a bad mama day.

We ALL have these moments. We are not perfect and we can’t expect ourselves to be. All we can do is learn. Sure, this was a wake up call in the worst possible way, and you will probably be HYPERaware for weeks now. You’ll scout out every possible danger the moment you get to a new location and be ever more vigilant in taking steps to prevent it.

Zevan was trying to get down the driveway the other day and I screamed at him to stop in panic. For a minute I don’t know why I reacted so strongly immediately. Then I remembered about the time I was working in the garage one time and Zander, who at the time was about Anna’s age now, was playing outside in the front yard. I ran inside – for just a minute – to get something, and when I came back outside, a woman was holding Zander and bringing him into the garage. She said he had walked down my driveway, down the street and was headed towards the hill on 19th. She stopped her car and got out to get him. Good Lord, I am choking up now just writing about this… I can feel that fear, that self-loathing I felt that moment. She was actually very nice about it. I was in complete shock when she came up that driveway.

This is before we had a fenced yard. You’ve seen my yard. Can you imagine?

You’re right, you can’t take that moment back. All you can do is learn from it. I did. And become the superheroine I describe as HyperAwareMommy … One time my friend’s daughter, who just learned to walk, and also had no stairs at her house, was at the top of our stairs about to step down (her mom was finishing up in the bathroom)…I was in my office when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. I flew towards her and pulled her back just as she was about to go over the steps.

I’m *all* about letting the boys explore physical skills and learn for themselves – as you may have witnessed at Thorndale Park.     My boys are climbers, runners, jumpers. diggers… 

Between the two of them, mostly Zander, we’ve already had 2 ER trips (1 concussion, 1 stitches), a 911 visit (poison control recommendation), 3 minor bloody incidents (2 lip, 1 nose).

So I do tell them to be careful, and to pay attention to what they are doing.  I also let them know that if they need me, I’m there.  If they want me to show them how to do something, I’ll show them how, instead of doing it for them.

I like known safe environments, like our backyard, Thorndale Park, houses of people who have had more than their own children in their home. 

I don’t like public indoor play areas like malls and McDonalds…they are never clean enough for my taste, and I won’t go to any of them during flu season. 

I become HyperAwareMama when there are outside dangers involved (parking lots, crossing a street, cliffs, sharp furniture edges at the just right height, stairs, unlocked doors)…   Also, when we go to someone’s house, especially someone who doesn’t have young children.  I like to take a quick sweep and scope out all potential dangers / temptations before I let my boys loose there.  Overprotective?  Maybe.   I’d rather be called that than negligent.

I’m on the bandwagon as far as exercise goes (enjoyed my REST day yesterday), but food is a different story. I just don’t seem to have the willpower.

I have some big work projects going on, and today I got up with every intention of running, then eating breakfast, but I worked a bit first.  All of a sudden, it was 10 AM, and I hadn’t eaten or run.    And I had to be at the climbing gym at 11:30 AM. So, I ate a couple toaster scrambles and went to the climbing gym. 

After finally getting this one move I needed to do to get on this one bouldering route, I felt really good about climbing today.  Thanks May!   

After climbing, I was going to run the course at GOG, but it was WAY too windy.  So I went to Monument Valley Park instead – a little more sheltered, but it was still pretty windy.  I ran 2.8 miles today!  There were about 4 times I started walking, but after about 10-12 steps, I forced myself to run again.

Reminded me of that song, Against the Wind by Bob Seger…

Well those drifters days are past me now
I’ve got so much more to think about
Deadlines and commitments
What to leave in, what to leave out

Against the wind
I’m still runnin’ against the wind
Well I’m older now but still runnin’
Against the wind

Now I’m just beat.  And I’ve got to squeeze in some work before the boys get up from their nap.   

Yesterday I did Tae Bo Flex again (with hamstrings still sore from Monday). I ran this morning, and started training on hills (on Mesa, from Uintah back to my house, there are two good sized ones to train on). I only had to stop to walk once for about 20 seconds after the 2nd hill.

I *might* go ahead and try to run/walk the GOG 5K course on Friday morning. We’ll see what time I get up and how the weather is. My training schedule says 2.25 mi this week for the long runs, but I think I will kick at least one of those up to 5K. I mean, since I have actually run a 5K already, I’m not a true novice/beginner like the training schedule is designed for.

I wish I had realized how freaked out I was about this sooner. It only hit me when I was in the car, on my way to the appt.

I got my letter today…one of those form letters

Dear Patient:

We wish to report the following on your mammography examination. A report wil be sent to your referring physician or other health care provider .

X Normal/Negative. No evidence of Cancer

The other choices were:

_ Probably benign (not cancer)
_ Additional imaging studies are needed
_ Previous films needed

Probably benign – that sounds odd, doesn’t it?

I was active duty air force when I found my first lump. It was there for almost 2 months before I went to the doctor. At the appt, the doctor saw the lump, and said something like, “Well, let’s get that puppy out of there and see what it is.” Just like that I was whisked away to an operating room.

I just remembered that. No wonder I was so freaked out about this. I subconciously thought that if I had cancer, they would start radiating me right away or something.

My mom said that the new mammogram machines, like the one I had, are much more comfortable than the ones used just 5 years ago. I went to HealthSouth Premier Diagnostic Center.

Whew! I won’t have to do one again for another 1-2 years, but next time I’ll be prepared!