·:[ The Healthy Mom ]:·
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While my parents were here, I did Tae Bo on Monday, Tuesday, nothing on Wednesday, Thursday and I ran part of the GOG course on Friday. Nothing yesterday. I *need* to do something today. Especially since the race is now just 6 days away!!!

I’m back up the .8 lbs I lost last week. After this race, I’m going to back to dieting and readjusting my training schedule. I will likely run the rest of the series, but won’t be training like I am right now.

This was my reply in a “my baby won’t sleep” thread:

Zander wouldn’t sleep through the night at all as a baby. As he got older, I tried to give him cereal at night to give him something more complex to digest, partially because of his reflux, and partly because I thought it would help him stay full longer. No dice.

With modified methods (sort of cry it out co-sleeping - yes, I did let him cry, but I was laying in the bed next to him so he didn’t feel abandoned), Zander started sleeping through the night at 10 months old. And he has been doing it ever since. He is a GREAT sleeper. When he napped and at night, once asleep, he stayed asleep. He nursed until he was 13/14 months old (I got pregnant and he weaned himself - much to my dismay).

Zevan slept through the night at 8 weeks. It was amazing. I was thrilled. Until he was about 4-5 months old. The wakings began. And now, at 2 years old, still wakes up once during the night. He won’t go down for a nap without a fight, either. He is a TERRIBLE sleeper. I didn’t use the same methods I did with Zander, mostly because they share a room, and if I let him cry like that, I felt bad for Zander not being able to sleep.

For one week, starting 10 days ago, he was going to bed so well. I put him to bed wide awake and said goodnight. He’d say, “Goodnight, mama” and actually roll onto his side and go to sleep.

It lasted a week.

I have no idea why he stopped, but now he won’t go to bed again. Naptime and bedtime are exhausting again.

So, lately, I have been letting him cry. He’s 2 now and he is definitely trying to manipulate me. I put him down, he fights, he stalls, he uses his sweet little voice, “Lay with me, mama.” “You sleep with me, mama.”

“No, sweetie, it’s time to sleep…” then I get a big tantrum In fact, the other night, he pulled one of his breathholding spells, and turned blue. Great. I hate when he does that. Scares the bejeezus out of me every time he does it. And I have been reassured that it’s okay, it won’t harm him. I won’t let him use that against me at bedtime again.

We took Zevan for his 2 year well check on Friday.

Our big concerns have been his height/weight and then, two nights before the appt, Zevan had one of his breath holding incidents when I was putting him to bed because he didn’t want to go to sleep.   

He’s back on the chart for his height and weight, which is great.  5%tile for height, 20%tile for weight.  Last time he wasn’t on the chart for height and he was only 5%tile for weight.  Since Jan 27, he grew 2″ and gained 2 lb 7 oz.  So, while he is still on the small side, I think he’ll be okay.   

The breath holding spell is a bit trickier.  Now that he is older, it’s more of an attention grabbing thing, so I need to not provide the reinforcement of my reaction to these episodes.  That’s going to be tough for me.   

She recommended 24 oz per day of dairy/milk for him.     It sounds like a lot to me, along with his other foods and water.  She said we could switch to 2% milk now, and recommended organic milk (of course!).

She said with his advanced verbal skills that we could try potty training him now.  More about that later…

So, I miscalculated my run time on Friday. I actually ran it in 32:50, not 32:15.
Since I probably won’t get a run in tomorrow, I ran it today. I wore my HR monitor and here’s what I got.

My best estimate of the mile markers:
I start the route at the telephone pole just before the wooden bridge on the trail
Mile 1 ends at the first boulder past the big curve just after the main parking lot (the end of the big hill)
Mile 2 ends at Pull Off 8
I finish where I started.

My shins started hurting about halfway through the route. I stopped to fastwalk for about 45 seconds twice: once on the curve past the main parking lot and once up the hill to the south parking lot. My fastwalk pace is faster than my running pace when I am going uphill. I just pump my arms and go!

I really don’t like running. I dread it before I start, I moan and groan as I run it, but when I am finished I feel really good about doing it! It’s the classic love/hate thing. I hate when I’m doing it, but I love that I did it!

I’m a geek at heart, so using numbers and gadgets for my run can only help motivate me.

I got on the scale and lost .8 since I last weighed myself That’s SOMETHING!

Summer is so hard for me. I *love* ice cream. I had ice cream twice yesterday

My parents fly in tomorrow. Which could spell disaster for my eating. Especially since we are going to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory on Tuesday night for my cousin Lester’s birthday dinner.

I *must* stick to my work out routine. That will be my consolation if my eating gets completely out of hand.

So…I’ve been doing good with my workouts. This week I didn’t work out on Wednesday because Doug’s mom got sick and we couldn’t go over there. So…I made that my rest day and did a crosstraining workout (Tae Bo) on Thursday. Friday I ran the course. By myself. At race day pace. I finished it in 32:15 32:50!!! That’s close to my St. Patrick’s Day 5K run time 32:31. So, now that’s my goal for the race. I hope I don’t psyche myself out on race day with all the people around. The first part of the course just sucks. All uphill, and then a big uphill right at the main parking lot that curves around. After that, the course is good, one last little uphill just before the south parking lot.

Afterwards, I met with May for climbing. We were taking it easy since I just ran and she hiked the incline earlier. We did some 5.9s and attempted our V2s. Then we noticed a new V2 in the cave. I was trying it for the 3rd time, and was getting up to do a critical move. I grabbed the hold, put all my weight on it, and it spun - the bolt was loose. I landed on my back, and then bumped my head on the ground. Honestly, it was my biggest fall ever since I started climbing. Mostly because I was on a layback when I fell and I wasn’t harnessed in, since we were doing a bouldering route. I laid on the ground for a few minutes, totally stunned. I don’t know who looked more shocked, me or May. After we asked the staff guy to tighten the bolt, I actually attempted it one more time, but couldn’t hang on. The whole experience put a damper on the day, and we finished up after that.

I went home and took 800 mg of ibuprofen and just hung out. I can’t remember the last time I fell, but this one was a doozy. I felt so old and unresilient. I tried to call my chiropractor, but she closes up early on Fridays

Anyway, I feel okay now. I hauled ten 50 lb bags of play sand for the Zboys’ sandbox today. Yep 500 lbs of sand, and that damn sandbox still didn’t get as full as I hoped it would be.

We hiked today and it was fine. Tomorrow I will cross train. My parents are flying in on Monday, so I probably won’t get a chance to run the course that day. Hmmm…maybe I should try and do that tomorrow instead.

Don’t ask me about my diet. We went to Red Robin tonight, and I had freckled lemonade and a Bonzai burger (although I did get salad instead of bottomless fries!).

Okay, so I ran the course again this Monday with my friend Lanel.  I ran the whole thing, but I didn’t time myself.  I dread it when I start it, and even while I’m running it, but when I get finished, I feel very good about doing it!

I did the Tommy Deter All Star Workout today. That felt good. 

But then I crashed today…I felt very achey and tired, but didn’t have any of the nausea, so this must be my version of the illness my boys have had.  (Zander was throwing up yesterday, but he’s fine today).  What a weird stomach flu.  In all 3 cases, it lasted only half a day for each of my guys.  While Vikki was here watching the boys,  I was so tired, that I napped while she was here.  Then when she left, I laid down with the boys and slept until 5:30 PM!  I’m not at all hungry either.  I haven’t eaten very much today.   

STRESSED is desserts spelled backwards.  Is that because when one is stressed, one craves desserts?!?

Zevan vomited 3 times today.  Poor little guy.      And every time I was holding him.  Even though I showered twice, I still can smell puke   Doug’s no help…he’s been sick today too.    

I am SO over this… Calgon take me away…

So, I have done some very unbalanced eating today.  No breakfast, veggies and dip plus 2 slices of Pepperoni pizza during the party…a BIG slice of cake, too.  And whopper and fries for dinner.  Tsk tsk tsk.  I’m so STRESSED!

I can’t believe Zevan got sick the day of his birthday party!  What are the chances?! 

I didn’t walk today, either.  Way too windy.  This is the first day I’ve missed a work out since I started training  

UGH!!! 

I’m back at 132.4 and I’m stuck there.  The scale won’t budge.  I’m not counting all calories while I train for the run…I’m just making sure I don’t overeat too much and eating a good variety of foods. 

I ran the GOG course today with May and Tiffany.  The fastest runners from our group.  May runs every day, at least 3 miles.  Tiffany has been running since she was 8 years old…although she is coming off of a hiatus from running since about the time she got pregnant with Eli.  I have never been a runner. 

I was nervous about running with them, to be honest.  I got there late because Zander insisted that only *I* could change his diaper.  “And there’s not too much poop in my diaper, Mom.”  Great.   

I met May in the Visitor Center parking lot and we were off!  And at a decent pace for me.  We chatted a bit as we ran.   I struggled a bit with my end of the conversation, but it was okay. As we passed the 150 ft to the main parking lot sign, Tiffany honked and whistled at us.  She joined us at the steepest part of the course and around the bend.  Last time I was at this part of the course, I slowed to a walk.  Not this time.  Too much peer pressure.   

I fell into a pace behind them - close enough to still hear the conversation, but at this point, I wasn’t able to talk much.     As I was running, and because I actually ventured out in shorts, I became acutely aware of my upper thighs rubbing against each other with each step.  And then I noticed, much to my chagrin, that it was physically impossible for May’s or Tiffany’s thighs to touch while they ran.   

This fact bemused me for a good quarter mile of running, I think.     I thought to myself…I need to get a body wrap.    Soon.  Until then, I need to buy those longer bike shorts to wear under my running shorts. 

As we passed the south parking lot, I started getting the urge to slow down to a walk.  But I didn’t.  “Just keep running, just keep running”  I thought to myself.  Normally I would say it aloud - when I run by myself, I do.    They were chatting and I listened.  It really helped the time pass.

And then all of a sudden, I could see the stop sign where we would turn back towards the visitor center.  We ran along the trail towards the entrance gate.  I actually ran the whole thing!     And I felt pretty good…not completely exhausted or out of breath.    May said we did it under 35 minutes, too.   

May and I walked to the car while Tiffany headed back on the course to finish her loop.  We decided we would climb for an hour today, just to get some upper body work in. 

I feel really good about running today!  That was great!   

I’m running the same course on Mondays at 11:15 AM with my friend Lanel, whose pace is slower than mine, so it will be up to me to keep up the pace I ran today somehow.   

I’m tired now.    If I didn’t have a bunch of stuff to do before Zevan’s birthday party tomorrow, I would be sleeping right now. 

Hrmph.  Zander just peed on the floor in the office. 

I ran the full course at Garden of the Gods today…killer.    Just a little bit of walking, maybe 2 minutes total.

My plan is to run it on Fridays at 10:15 AM (with May) and Mondays at 11:15 AM (with Lanel)

This was in response to my friend Megan who had a bad mama day.

We ALL have these moments. We are not perfect and we can’t expect ourselves to be. All we can do is learn. Sure, this was a wake up call in the worst possible way, and you will probably be HYPERaware for weeks now. You’ll scout out every possible danger the moment you get to a new location and be ever more vigilant in taking steps to prevent it.

Zevan was trying to get down the driveway the other day and I screamed at him to stop in panic. For a minute I don’t know why I reacted so strongly immediately. Then I remembered about the time I was working in the garage one time and Zander, who at the time was about Anna’s age now, was playing outside in the front yard. I ran inside - for just a minute - to get something, and when I came back outside, a woman was holding Zander and bringing him into the garage. She said he had walked down my driveway, down the street and was headed towards the hill on 19th. She stopped her car and got out to get him. Good Lord, I am choking up now just writing about this… I can feel that fear, that self-loathing I felt that moment. She was actually very nice about it. I was in complete shock when she came up that driveway.

This is before we had a fenced yard. You’ve seen my yard. Can you imagine?

You’re right, you can’t take that moment back. All you can do is learn from it. I did. And become the superheroine I describe as HyperAwareMommy … One time my friend’s daughter, who just learned to walk, and also had no stairs at her house, was at the top of our stairs about to step down (her mom was finishing up in the bathroom)…I was in my office when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. I flew towards her and pulled her back just as she was about to go over the steps.

I’m *all* about letting the boys explore physical skills and learn for themselves - as you may have witnessed at Thorndale Park.     My boys are climbers, runners, jumpers. diggers… 

Between the two of them, mostly Zander, we’ve already had 2 ER trips (1 concussion, 1 stitches), a 911 visit (poison control recommendation), 3 minor bloody incidents (2 lip, 1 nose).

So I do tell them to be careful, and to pay attention to what they are doing.  I also let them know that if they need me, I’m there.  If they want me to show them how to do something, I’ll show them how, instead of doing it for them.

I like known safe environments, like our backyard, Thorndale Park, houses of people who have had more than their own children in their home. 

I don’t like public indoor play areas like malls and McDonalds…they are never clean enough for my taste, and I won’t go to any of them during flu season. 

I become HyperAwareMama when there are outside dangers involved (parking lots, crossing a street, cliffs, sharp furniture edges at the just right height, stairs, unlocked doors)…   Also, when we go to someone’s house, especially someone who doesn’t have young children.  I like to take a quick sweep and scope out all potential dangers / temptations before I let my boys loose there.  Overprotective?  Maybe.   I’d rather be called that than negligent.

I’m on the bandwagon as far as exercise goes (enjoyed my REST day yesterday), but food is a different story. I just don’t seem to have the willpower.

I have some big work projects going on, and today I got up with every intention of running, then eating breakfast, but I worked a bit first.  All of a sudden, it was 10 AM, and I hadn’t eaten or run.    And I had to be at the climbing gym at 11:30 AM. So, I ate a couple toaster scrambles and went to the climbing gym. 

After finally getting this one move I needed to do to get on this one bouldering route, I felt really good about climbing today.  Thanks May!   

After climbing, I was going to run the course at GOG, but it was WAY too windy.  So I went to Monument Valley Park instead - a little more sheltered, but it was still pretty windy.  I ran 2.8 miles today!  There were about 4 times I started walking, but after about 10-12 steps, I forced myself to run again.

Reminded me of that song, Against the Wind by Bob Seger…

Well those drifters days are past me now
I’ve got so much more to think about
Deadlines and commitments
What to leave in, what to leave out

Against the wind
I’m still runnin’ against the wind
Well I’m older now but still runnin’
Against the wind

Now I’m just beat.  And I’ve got to squeeze in some work before the boys get up from their nap.   

Yesterday I did Tae Bo Flex again (with hamstrings still sore from Monday). I ran this morning, and started training on hills (on Mesa, from Uintah back to my house, there are two good sized ones to train on). I only had to stop to walk once for about 20 seconds after the 2nd hill.

I *might* go ahead and try to run/walk the GOG 5K course on Friday morning. We’ll see what time I get up and how the weather is. My training schedule says 2.25 mi this week for the long runs, but I think I will kick at least one of those up to 5K. I mean, since I have actually run a 5K already, I’m not a true novice/beginner like the training schedule is designed for.

I wish I had realized how freaked out I was about this sooner. It only hit me when I was in the car, on my way to the appt.

I got my letter today…one of those form letters

Dear Patient:

We wish to report the following on your mammography examination. A report wil be sent to your referring physician or other health care provider .

[u]X[/u] [b]Normal/Negative.[/b] No evidence of Cancer

The other choices were:

_ Probably benign (not cancer)
_ Additional imaging studies are needed
_ Previous films needed

Probably benign - that sounds odd, doesn’t it?

I was active duty air force when I found my first lump. It was there for almost 2 months before I went to the doctor. At the appt, the doctor saw the lump, and said something like, “Well, let’s get that puppy out of there and see what it is.” Just like that I was whisked away to an operating room.

I just remembered that. No wonder I was so freaked out about this. I subconciously thought that if I had cancer, they would start radiating me right away or something.

My mom said that the new mammogram machines, like the one I had, are much more comfortable than the ones used just 5 years ago. I went to HealthSouth Premier Diagnostic Center.

Whew! I won’t have to do one again for another 1-2 years, but next time I’ll be prepared!

I almost called this one “Thanks for the mammaries” but I refrained.

(This is a LONG story.    If you really want to read it, grab your beverage of choice  , and maybe a little snack…  it’s going to take a while)

So I went for my mammogram early Monday morning.  : Doug’s dad (Grandpa) picked the boys up at 8:30 AM so I could be there to check in at 8:45 AM.  Between laundry and putzing around, I think I left the house right at 8:45 AM. Wearing my pink ribbon fitted tee.

And promptly starting freaking out.   

I tried calling my mom at work, on her cell, at home and couldn’t find her.  I was thinking I should have scheduled this for when she was here and could come with me. 

When I scheduled it (and completely spaced out that first appt), I kept thinking of it as just another medical procedure, like a blood test or that awful glucose test you have to do when you are pregnant.

For some reason, I didn’t research what to expect.      I mean, I’ve read the horror stories and email jokes about how it feels like dropping a 1 ton metal door on your boobs, but usually I really look into these things.  Doug’s mom was very supportive.  When I told her, she said, it’s not fun, but it goes by fast.   

When I had laser eye surgery, I asked a lot of people who had it done before what it was like (although I refused to watch the video they show you of the actual surgery at the clinic).  With all my infertility and m/c procedure, I also asked around and did intense internet research (like the hsg was the worst most painful procedure ever).  And of course, child birth, which is different in every case.  I asked for real stories from women I knew, but refused to watch “A Birth Story” or any of those kinds of shows.

So, in the 15-20 minutes it took me to drive there, I came up with all sorts of stream of consciousness anxieties and was nearly in tears by the time I got there.    All of a sudden I felt horribly alone and vulnerable.  I called my dad to see if he knew where my mom was.  I told him why I was looking for her, but he wasn’t exactly empathetic.   

What if the procedure is super painful?  What if I have cancer?  Will they tell me while I’m there all by myself?  My boobs are smaller now, will that make the mammogram hurt more?  Or less?  What about those women who get their breasts removed just because they *might* get cancer?!  Well, I guess this is one way to get insurance to pay for a boob job - get a masectomy, get a C cup…  Always looking for that silver lining, that’s me… 

I got there right at 9 AM.  I filled out my paperwork.   Two of my mom’s sisters had breast cancer.  One died very young (22) and the other was diagnosed in her 60s and had to get a double masectomy.  My mom and I have both had lumps removed - benign fibroid adenomas.

I ate a reasonable breakfast despite my emotional state  , and then I started worrying again.  I tried calling my mom.  No luck.  I even tried calling my sister.  Then I called my chosen sister, Candy. under the guise of figuring out when we were going to look at that house I scoped out for my parents to buy.  I told her where I was and she was very supportive, as I admitted that I was a little freaked out.  It was just what I needed.  Of course, a few minutes after I called her, they called me back to get the mammogram.

Deep breath.    So, they have this dressing room with lockers, where you are told to undress from the waist up.  They had baby wipes there, to wipe off any deodorant/anti-perspirant you had one (and deodorant wipes for afterwards).  Instead of a horrid hospital gown, they hand you a nice oversized pretty silky shirt to put on.  That was a nice touch. They had a whole rack of them.  Mine was turquoise, of course, I wished she had given me a purple or black one.  I got dressed, locked my purse up and put the key on my wrist as suggested.  I sat in the very private, mood-lit (dimmer than most) waiting room with a tv and lots of women’s magazines (I read Women’s Day). 

After a few minutes, I went into the actual x-ray room.  The tech was super nice.  Even as she handled and positioned each boob at the right angle to first get an x-ray from the top of each one, then a profile shot of each one.  After positioning the breast just right, she’d firmly place the plexiglass (?)  plate down on my boob, tell me to not move, moved to the other side of the machine, told me to take a breath, hold it, and she hit the button.  The plate would push down on my boob until it was smooshed just right, then it would beep (indicating that it was taking the xray) and release automatically.

It wasn’t half as bad as I thought.  For the “from the top” shots, it was mildly uncomfortable.  For the profile shots, it was very uncomfortable, bordering on slightly painful, but it really only lasted a few seconds. 

I’m pretty non-chalant about nudity in general, so the fact that she was handling my breasts so clinically didn’t bother me, but I imagine it would bother some more sensitive private women. 

She said they would develop them now and have a tech look at them.  If everything seemed okay, they would send a letter to my house stating so.  If things looked suspicious, I would have to schedule another more in depth mammogram.  I had to wait while she developed them just in case.  After about 10-15 minutes, she said I could go and that I should get my letter in about a week. 

I got dressed and left.  I felt relieved that it was over. 

I tried to call my mom AGAIN.  Someone answered, but it wasn’t my mom.  I had been calling the wrong number all along.  My mom and dad used to live with my mom’s sister, the one who has had the masectomy.  She’s in the early stages of an Alzheimer’s type condition now, but seemed lucid when I spoke to her.  She is one of my favorite aunts.  That’s whose phone I had been ringing.  Coincidence?  We talked about the mammogram and her experience.  I got off the phone with her and then called my mom at her actual house this time.  She did answer.  We talked.  I shared my freaking out - she thought I had had a mammogram before.  She didn’t realize it was my first one.

So that’s it.  This thing, which I though wasn’t a big deal, freaked me out, it wasn’t as bad as I thought, I talked it over with family, and now it’s not a big deal anymore. 

I totally missed daylight savings this weekend. No idea.  

So I finished up my Tae Bo Flex workout on Sunday at what I thought was 10 AM.  My dad called and casually mentioned the time change.  DOH!    So all of a sudden it was lunch time.  Whoops. 

I overate at Candy’s house, too.     That spinach dip and Hawaiian bread is my downfall.   I ate the bottom of the bread bowl after everyone else left.   

While I love pilates for the lengthening and core strengthening, I need more than that for my cross training days.  SO…I’m back to my Tae Bo, which is cardio and strength training at the same time.  Feels like I get more out of it.  Maybe on my running days, I will try and do a 10-15 minute pilates routine for my core.   

I TOTALLY felt the effects from Tae Bo Flex today.  Sore hamstrings mainly, but a good dull kind of sore all around.  Today I ran.  I had to go to the post office to pick up 2 stamps and pick up Reading Lolita in Tehran from the OCC library.  So, I ran down to the post office, with a detour at a potential house for my parents at 2419 W Uintah (about 1.7 miles) did a bunch of standing leg exercises while in line at the post office, then I ran over to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory    then I ran over to the library.  After the library, I did a brisk walk to Yakitori and had a nice Yakitori lunch by myself, and started reading our book for the month.  In total, I ran about 2 miles, and walked about 1.6 miles back up to my house.  I ate about 1/3 of one milk chocolate macadamia bear (aka turtle).

This morning, I had my baseline mammogram appt (more on that in another post).  Of course, I didn’t eat before I went there.  They had a little beverage/food station there.  I was very proud of myself.  I ate just HALF of a Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate Chocolate Chip muffin (220 calories) and one orange.  I also had a cup of hot chocolate (100 calories).  I actually cut the muffin in half and threw out the rest.  Food waste, yes.  Smart eating, YES!   

Anyhoo, that’s my update.  I’m not getting on that scale for a spot check yet. I’m feeling too vulnerable.   

Calculate your bra size

My boobs have shrunk down to barely an 36A?!  I used to be a full 34B      Suddenly I understand why women get boob jobs.   

I need to bra shop.  I usually just wear my cheapie hanes sports bras.  I have one black bra that fits me, a soft cup.  Now I know why! 

I worked at Joslins dept store in the lingerie dept and we had two women who were trained in bra fittings that I worked with.  Most major dept stores will have a fitter that won’t (shouldn’t) make you feel obligated to buy a bra there.