Last night we went to a cheap red wine party at the Tobey residence. Everyone had to bring 1-2 bottles of red wine under $12.99, and there was a blind tasting. The food was awesome. 

We got home around 10:30 PM and Vikki had the kids in bed.     Doug and I had some quality alone time    With running and climbing earlier, it felt like a 3rd workout.     I got a good night's sleep    Zevan woke up around 12:30 AM, so I brought him to our bed and went right back to sleep.

I need to work harder on eating a good breakfast in the morning.  Since I try to workout before I eat, if I get a late start, then I don't eat until 10 AM, sometimes even later.    I should at least eat one of my yummy Caramel Nut Odyssey protein bars (300 calories – 30 grams of protein!).  With a glass of juice and some fruit, I would be be right around 500 calories.

Since I can record All Star Workouts, when I have some new workouts in the pipeline, I always have trouble choosing which one I want to try first.  That is so fun!  I love trying new stuff.

My rest day (Thursdays) is still weird for me…  I feel like I'm missing something most of the day.  But I can totally tell the difference in my climbing and running on Friday. 

I need to get back on track with my food.  I'm still not back on Balance Log  I am going to work harder to eat 500 calories for breakfast, hopefuly within 3 hours of waking up.

  I didn’t get to the climbing gym until 1:00 PM. I did about 30 minutes of bouldering.

I easily got to the top of the only V1 route in the gym and bouldered on the yellow route around the gym (unless the holds were above 8 ft).

I was able to get to the top of the yellow V2 twice on my own, and got to the top of that one V2 on the underhang, but I used a foothold that wasn’t mine.

It felt good.  I know it probably sounds like gibberish to non-climbers, but I just had to write all that down.  I have only recently been working on V-routes for a few weeks, and it's good to feel progress.   

Tonight I reward myself with cheap wine and good company!   

For cross training lately, I have been doing Winsor pilates Accelerated Body Sculpting and am trying many of the All Star Workouts from Fit TV. I love my TiVo!

I prefer the dance-y type workouts. Except for MaDonna Grimes workouts…they are too advanced for me.  I like to be able to figure out the move during the course of the class, and not have to stop it after every move to figure it out.

I have these on my TiVo right now: Dance Groove with Jennifer Galardi and Bhangra Dance with Sarina Jain

I tried one of Kendell Hogan's workouts before, but at the time I was wanting something more aerobic, so I switched to something else.  Now that I know that I don't have to go full tilt all the time, I should try him again – and some of the other toning workouts like Ballet Strength with Jennifer Galardi and Pilates Sculpt with Ellen Barrett.

I was excited for my long run this morning (1.75 miles) and was a little too overzealous.  I did the first half in 9:40, but near the end of my run, about a half mile to go, My left shin REALLY hurt and I had to slow down to a walk.  Twice, I tried stretching it out a bit, then running some more, but the pain came back within a minute.     So I walked an extra half mile when I was done…  I need to take up Helen's advice on the training thread about strengthening my shins.  I also need to not run so hard right out of the chute.   

I am on track with my training for the 5K – I've done my prescribed workouts every day so far. It's nice to have it all planned out in advance.  I actually ran outside on Monday (major snow storm) – crazy I know, but it was on my training program, and I just can't get on that damn treadmill.

I'm eating badly.     I have lost all motivation to eat less.  I don't know how to get myself back on track.   

I'm feeling pretty good about most of my body.  When I do my pilates, I can actually see a sliver of space between my lower thighs when I am doing the one hundred.  Pretty cool    My arms and shoulders are definitely getting a workout from climbing.  But from my C-section scar to under my breasts, I look like Jabba the Hut.  A bloaty mass of tiger striped (stretch marks) redundant skin.  ARGH.  It is beyond discouraging.     I'm just getting over my period, so I can't blame my cycle.

I can never seem to eat less and exercise consistently at the same time.  What is up with that?!   

I haven't been on the scale.   

Damn, it's late.  My goal is to get in bed by 12:30 AM, and I'm almost an hour late.  I've got a chiropractor's appt at 8:30 AM and I have to take the dogs to the vet at 9:20 AM.  A day in the life…

More soon…

From my junior year of high school until we moved to Germany, I felt GREAT about my body.  I was *smokin'*     

Since then, the last time I felt really good about my body was right before I got pregnant with Zander…After my 2nd miscarriage, I was in the martial arts dojo a lot – kicking and punching away at my depression.  My friend Greg, who is notoriously stingy with compliments, told me I looked great!  There's something more satisfying about the the completely unbiased compliment.  I was wearing a size 5! then.  Funnily enough, I have no idea what my weight was because we didn't own a scale.

After my first miscarriage, I was just so completely lost.  And while I am past it, I will never get over it.  I get weepy everytime I remember how I felt then.    Defiinitely the lowest turning point in my life.  I just ate and slept and cried.  Every time I thought I was doing better, I would just cry for no reason.  It was such a hard time in my life.

I got pregnant again 2 months later, only to have ANOTHER miscarriage.  With the 2nd one, I was ANGRY.  I was pissed at my body, pissed at God, pissed off in general.  I was very bitter.  That's when I turned to martial arts.  2 hours a day, 5 days a week.

I really enjoy martial arts, but I haven't figured out a way to do that again until at least one of the kids is in school AND I can make extra money to pay for martial arts classes.  Maybe after my parents move here 

I love climbing, though, so while it's not as aerobic, it's great for building upper body strength and balance.

So, the big question is, how DO we learn to look at our bodies objectively?  Is it even possible?

Okay, I'm not going to let my bad couple of days take me on a downward spiral…

I ran 1.5 miles this morning.     Felt good, and my knee is okay so far.  Maybe running in the crosswind torqued my knee on Wednesday and it was slightly strained.

I have had 1/2 protein bar so far today.  Trying to figure out what else I want to eat.

I am going to walk the Take 5 in the Garden course tomorrow just to check it out (and do my 30-60 minute walking workout).

I went to bed last night with the boys at 9 PM. I slept until 6 AM, with one Zevan squawk sometime during the night. Between 6 -7:30 AM, I drifted in and out. For some reason I had a headache when I woke up. Maybe from crying yesterday? Or too much chocolate frosted goodness?

I got up, took my shot of NutraEarth and a glass of water then went for my 1.5 mile run. I ran with my headache – it wasn’t a migraine, so I thought it would be okay.

Now Doug is fixing the boys breakfast and I need to call the vet about Logan.