·:[ The Healthy Mom ]:·
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So…after being pregnant or nursing for 3 years, I finally scheduled my first mammogram for Monday. 

(Actually, it was on Wednesday, but I totally spaced it.  Luckily, they were able to fit me on this Monday)

I have a family history of breast cancer on my mom’s side of the family, and I have already had a fibroid adenoma removed, so I am at high risk.  I was supposed to get it done 2 years ago.

I also got a full physical and blood work out from my doctor, which was LONG overdue.  Our bodies change so much after pregnancy and nursing.

Dr Kania is wonderful.  She went through my family history with me as well as my laundry list of things I have been meaning to see a doctor about (like my left elbow, those headaches, this weird breathing noise when I do a particular exercise, etc.)  I never felt rushed or anything.  It was a great appointment.

We go to the pediatrician for every little thing for our kids, but we put it off for ourselves.  So the point of this thread is to remind you to take some time to take care of yourself.     That way you can be around for your kids as long as you can!

Oh. my. God.    

SO, I dropped my van off at Steve Mills garage today for an oil leak and decided to do my morning run for the way back (since it is a PITA to put the boys in Doug’s convertible).

Using the odometer, it was only 1.5 miles to get there, and I need to do a 2.0 mile run today.  So I would just need to run 1/2 mile after I got back home.  AFTER I ran up that HUGE hill that leads up to my driveway.  Yikes. 

It’s a steady gradual uphill on the way up 19th from Vermijo to Oswego.  When it came time to go up the hill, I was completely unable to run up it.  Or even fast walk.  I had to walk at a “normal’ pace.  My heart rate shot up 10 bpm just walking up that damn hill.  After I got to the top, I had to force my burning quads to start running again for another half mile.  Just keep running, just keep running…

But I did it.   

Man.  That was tough.  I should probably do that once a week to prepare me for the Take 5 in the Garden.  That doesn’t mean I will, just that I SHOULD.   

I seriously have not been on the scale in a long time.  I’m doing this herbal cleanse that makes me all bloaty, and I haven’t been doing Balance Log.  I am VERY VERY afraid of my scale.  I also think I might need to start focus more on toning.  My body seems to like weighing 132.  Which doesn’t seem like a lot, but my friend May, who is basically my height and build weighs 15 lbs less than me!  I need to rethink my goals and motivation.  I will keep on training and watching what I eat, but for now I have to take a break from dieting.

I’m going climbing today and I am VERY excited about the new bouldering routes they were putting up Monday night.  Can’t wait to try them out! 

Right now I’m eating my Premier Nutrition Odyssey Caramel Nut protein bar.  Yum!  With one egg, one slice of toast and 1 tbsp of jelly, my breakfast rounds out right around 500 calories.  Yesterday was my rest day and I pushed a stroller around at the zoo.   

I like to give myself free reign on eating fruit and vegetables.  Mostly with veggies.  Fruit can sometimes have lots of calories, so I do have to watch myself somewhat on that.  But I never feel REALLY guilty about eating 2 bananas or a pint of strawberries.   

Check out this workout info: Beyond Cardio. When you read it, try to ignore the infomercial pandering tone of it, and see through to the actual information.

Wow.  This workout philosophy really speaks to me.  When I was bodybuilding, I never did ANY cardio training.  Just lifted weights 5 days per week, alternating muscle groups.

I’d be curious to know if conditioning through this method would also give you the endurance to run a 5K.  I know a smidge about the importance of VO2 from my days as webmistress at Carmichael Training Systems.  So it makes sense from that standpoint.  And, the advanced workout from the site I got my beginner 5K training also stresses interval training as part of the program.  I love the idea of running less and lifting weights more.

I always exercise on an empty stomach.  Somewhere along the line I heard that it was best for burning fat calories since your carbs are already burned up first.  Since you didn’t put anything in your body before working out, the body has to burn calories that are already in your body.  That is why my eating schedule is so messed up most days.  If I can’t get my workout in before the boys have breakfast, then I end up working out around 9:30 AM, and don’t eat breakfast until after 10 AM.  Not the healthiest way to do it

Sadly, the new bouldering routes were V3s and V4s which are currently out of my league.  I’m a bit nonplussed at the fact that they took down the only V1 and one of the few V2s.  I meant to request a new V1 and V2 route before I left the gym, but I forgot.  We got some good climbing in, and Rachel’s girls were so well-behaved…it was a really good climbing day!

I’ve got a lot of website work to do for clients this week, it’s always feast or famine.  I hate sitting on my butt for so long while I work.  I wish I could afford one of those hydraulic systems that lets you raise up your workstation so you can work standing up.  Heck, I even read that some work places are letting their employees WALK SLOWLY ON A TREADMILL while they work at their desk.  That’s pretty cool. 

Sadly, the new bouldering routes were V3s and V4s which are currently out of my league. I’m a bit nonplussed at the fact that they took down the only V1 and one of the few V2s. I meant to request a new V1 and V2 route before I left the gym, but I forgot. We got some good climbing in, and Rachel’s girls were so well-behaved…it was a really good climbing day!

I’ve got a lot of website work to do for clients this week, it’s always feast or famine. I hate sitting on my butt for so long while I work. I wish I could afford one of those hydraulic systems that lets you raise up your workstation so you can work standing up. Heck, I even read that some work places are letting their employees WALK SLOWLY ON A TREADMILL while they work at their desk. That’s pretty cool. thumbsup

I have become a chocolate snob, so only Rocky Mountain Chocolate calls my name.     Unfortunately, when I have it, I go way overboard.  Like 2 entire milk chocolate macadamia bears (their “turtles” in a sitting.

Life with Zander is challenging but more manageable.  I still lose my temper from time to time, but I am more able to get back on track after one of his tantrums.  He is just an amazing special little guy.  His language skills just amaze me.  His latest phrase?  “According to my book, mom, <insert factoid here>”  When he is not testing boundaries, he is incredibly helpful and polite.  He enjoys making his brother laugh.   

Zevan has been chatting up a storm these days.  And he is Mr. No And it’s not your typical 2 year old NO!  It’s “No, I won’t do that, Mom.”  When asked to apologize to his brother for hitting him, he replies, “No, I won’t say that.”  The downside of an early talker.  When is he sweet, he is so so sweet.  While he is no longer nursing, he has substituted my belly for comfort.  “I need some belly, Mama.  Mama belly.”   

“Just Keep Running, Just Keep Running”  I can’t tell you how often I say that modified Dory quote to myself when I’m running. 

I sometimes sing an entire song - all the lyrics - in my head (if you can actually sing out loud, you are not running fast enough!).   

Often times I just start doing a mental run down of my running - how is my breathing? am I in alignment? am I rolling from heel to toe? head up!  unclenched fists!  good posture! etc…   

Or I plan what I’m going to eat AFTER I run 

I also remind myself that I am accountable.  Often times, I can hear May’s voice in my head, “How is your running going?”  And I’d rather tell her that I ran 2 miles instead of sheepishly admitting that I quit a half mile early and just walked the rest of the way. 

Then, I tell myself,  “Tomorrow is a rest day / cross train day / walking day - just finish this run and be done with it!”

Finally, if all else fails…I become my own drill seargent:  “C’mon…are you going to tell me that you can’t stick to a program for 8 7 6 lousy weeks?!  &nbsp on’t you care about your body?!!”

This is why I sold my treadmill…  When I run outside, once I get to the half way point, I have to go the rest of the way to get home.  To keep myself running, I can look to the next marker…the white mailbox, the powerbox, the next intersection, that brick house…  I count cars, count mailboxes… 

I also have a mental note of mile markers that helps me know how much I’ve gone so far.    Of course, they sometimes makes me realize things like, Crap! I’ve only run .5 mile, 1.5 miles to go!. 

Hayden, Zevan, Dominic, Maida	Dominic, Maida
Zevan: Cheeeeese!	Kim, Hayden

Kim, Dani, Auri, Tiffany

Last night we went to a cheap red wine party at the Tobey residence. Everyone had to bring 1-2 bottles of red wine under $12.99, and there was a blind tasting. The food was awesome. 

We got home around 10:30 PM and Vikki had the kids in bed.     Doug and I had some quality alone time    With running and climbing earlier, it felt like a 3rd workout.     I got a good night's sleep    Zevan woke up around 12:30 AM, so I brought him to our bed and went right back to sleep.

I need to work harder on eating a good breakfast in the morning.  Since I try to workout before I eat, if I get a late start, then I don't eat until 10 AM, sometimes even later.    I should at least eat one of my yummy Caramel Nut Odyssey protein bars (300 calories - 30 grams of protein!).  With a glass of juice and some fruit, I would be be right around 500 calories.

Since I can record All Star Workouts, when I have some new workouts in the pipeline, I always have trouble choosing which one I want to try first.  That is so fun!  I love trying new stuff.

My rest day (Thursdays) is still weird for me…  I feel like I'm missing something most of the day.  But I can totally tell the difference in my climbing and running on Friday. 

I need to get back on track with my food.  I'm still not back on Balance Log  I am going to work harder to eat 500 calories for breakfast, hopefuly within 3 hours of waking up.

  I didn’t get to the climbing gym until 1:00 PM. I did about 30 minutes of bouldering.

I easily got to the top of the only V1 route in the gym and bouldered on the yellow route around the gym (unless the holds were above 8 ft).

I was able to get to the top of the yellow V2 twice on my own, and got to the top of that one V2 on the underhang, but I used a foothold that wasn’t mine.

It felt good.  I know it probably sounds like gibberish to non-climbers, but I just had to write all that down.  I have only recently been working on V-routes for a few weeks, and it's good to feel progress.   

Tonight I reward myself with cheap wine and good company!   

For cross training lately, I have been doing Winsor pilates Accelerated Body Sculpting and am trying many of the All Star Workouts from Fit TV. I love my TiVo!

I prefer the dance-y type workouts. Except for MaDonna Grimes workouts…they are too advanced for me.  I like to be able to figure out the move during the course of the class, and not have to stop it after every move to figure it out.

I have these on my TiVo right now: Dance Groove with Jennifer Galardi and Bhangra Dance with Sarina Jain

I tried one of Kendell Hogan's workouts before, but at the time I was wanting something more aerobic, so I switched to something else.  Now that I know that I don't have to go full tilt all the time, I should try him again - and some of the other toning workouts like Ballet Strength with Jennifer Galardi and Pilates Sculpt with Ellen Barrett.

I was excited for my long run this morning (1.75 miles) and was a little too overzealous.  I did the first half in 9:40, but near the end of my run, about a half mile to go, My left shin REALLY hurt and I had to slow down to a walk.  Twice, I tried stretching it out a bit, then running some more, but the pain came back within a minute.     So I walked an extra half mile when I was done…  I need to take up Helen's advice on the training thread about strengthening my shins.  I also need to not run so hard right out of the chute.   

I am on track with my training for the 5K - I've done my prescribed workouts every day so far. It's nice to have it all planned out in advance.  I actually ran outside on Monday (major snow storm) - crazy I know, but it was on my training program, and I just can't get on that damn treadmill.

I'm eating badly.     I have lost all motivation to eat less.  I don't know how to get myself back on track.   

I'm feeling pretty good about most of my body.  When I do my pilates, I can actually see a sliver of space between my lower thighs when I am doing the one hundred.  Pretty cool    My arms and shoulders are definitely getting a workout from climbing.  But from my C-section scar to under my breasts, I look like Jabba the Hut.  A bloaty mass of tiger striped (stretch marks) redundant skin.  ARGH.  It is beyond discouraging.     I'm just getting over my period, so I can't blame my cycle.

I can never seem to eat less and exercise consistently at the same time.  What is up with that?!   

I haven't been on the scale.   

Damn, it's late.  My goal is to get in bed by 12:30 AM, and I'm almost an hour late.  I've got a chiropractor's appt at 8:30 AM and I have to take the dogs to the vet at 9:20 AM.  A day in the life…

More soon…

From my junior year of high school until we moved to Germany, I felt GREAT about my body.  I was *smokin'*     

Since then, the last time I felt really good about my body was right before I got pregnant with Zander…After my 2nd miscarriage, I was in the martial arts dojo a lot - kicking and punching away at my depression.  My friend Greg, who is notoriously stingy with compliments, told me I looked great!  There's something more satisfying about the the completely unbiased compliment.  I was wearing a size 5! then.  Funnily enough, I have no idea what my weight was because we didn't own a scale.

After my first miscarriage, I was just so completely lost.  And while I am past it, I will never get over it.  I get weepy everytime I remember how I felt then.    Defiinitely the lowest turning point in my life.  I just ate and slept and cried.  Every time I thought I was doing better, I would just cry for no reason.  It was such a hard time in my life.

I got pregnant again 2 months later, only to have ANOTHER miscarriage.  With the 2nd one, I was ANGRY.  I was pissed at my body, pissed at God, pissed off in general.  I was very bitter.  That's when I turned to martial arts.  2 hours a day, 5 days a week.

I really enjoy martial arts, but I haven't figured out a way to do that again until at least one of the kids is in school AND I can make extra money to pay for martial arts classes.  Maybe after my parents move here 

I love climbing, though, so while it's not as aerobic, it's great for building upper body strength and balance.

So, the big question is, how DO we learn to look at our bodies objectively?  Is it even possible?

Okay, I'm not going to let my bad couple of days take me on a downward spiral…

I ran 1.5 miles this morning.     Felt good, and my knee is okay so far.  Maybe running in the crosswind torqued my knee on Wednesday and it was slightly strained.

I have had 1/2 protein bar so far today.  Trying to figure out what else I want to eat.

I am going to walk the Take 5 in the Garden course tomorrow just to check it out (and do my 30-60 minute walking workout).

I went to bed last night with the boys at 9 PM. I slept until 6 AM, with one Zevan squawk sometime during the night. Between 6 -7:30 AM, I drifted in and out. For some reason I had a headache when I woke up. Maybe from crying yesterday? Or too much chocolate frosted goodness?

I got up, took my shot of NutraEarth and a glass of water then went for my 1.5 mile run. I ran with my headache - it wasn’t a migraine, so I thought it would be okay.

Now Doug is fixing the boys breakfast and I need to call the vet about Logan.

I am having the worst emotional eating ever. 

Yesterday, about an hour after my run, my knee started hurting me.  For the rest of the day, it was painful to get up and down.  I had my old running shoes on, maybe it's time to toss those.

Last night Zevan had a huge tantrum about going to bed and cried/screamed for 40 minutes.  I comforted myself with a box of Cheez Its and water while I watched TV until 1 AM

This morning, my dog Logan (the light colored one who is 13 years old) had blood all over the side of his face and down his side.  I put them in the garage last night because of the wind, and didn't see any blood last night.  Did Bart bite him?!  That seems unlikely.  The vet couldn't get us in until 2:20 PM!  So all day I'm imagining the worst. 

At the appt, the vet mentions possible rx, like infected abcess, mouth cancer, tumor, etc.  Then he takes my dog into the back and I have to wait while they take a look.  They shaved part of his fur off, to reveal several bites and huge lumps on his face.  He says that the bites occurred 2-3 days ago, the skin closed up over the bites & bacteria, then they got infected and just now got big enough to burst  YUCK. 

Then I remember that a few days ago, the dogs were under the deck for some reason.  They never go under there.  As far as I can figure, there was a raccoon under there, and that's who bit Logan.  We have had raccoons living in our yard before, so this is very likely.  Thankfully, it wasn't a skunk - they have been skunked before, too.

So…  the vet needs to put in drain tubes so these lumps can empty out and Logan has to take antibiotics.  They need to put him under to do this.  In fact, they might need to keep him overnight while his face drains so he doesn't bleed all over the place here AND can keep dirt out for the first 12 hours.  So he might be done by 5 PM or he may have to stay over night.  So I leave him there.  As soon as I get back into the car, I burst into tears.  All the guilt about my poor dog not getting any attention since the kids were born comes pouring out; he was my baby for 10 years, and now he lives outside.

I cry in the car.  And I head right over to Dunkin Donuts.  I eat a Boston Creme donut in the car.  I get home.  I eat 1 1/2 chocolate frosted donuts with Zander at his snack table.  When Zevan gets up from his nap, he gets a donut, and I get another Boston Creme donut.  That's right.  3 1/2 donuts in 2 hours time.  720 chocolate frosted calories.   

And today is my REST day - so there is no exercise to off set it.

Doug comes home, I relive the Logan saga.  The boys are running around upstairs.  Then there's a thump and a half cry.  I run to pick up Zevan who is turning blue AND his mouth is bleeding.  I blow in his face, I tell him to breathe, nothing.  I blow and plead some more.  Turning bluer.  Plead, plead, blow, blow…finally, a meek little cry.  He closes his eyes and is very quiet…he's breathing and looks like he is about to fall asleep.  He is still bleeding.  Doug gets me cotton, I put it under lip and hold it.  He screams and cries, but I need to stop the bleeding.  I *really* hope he doesn't need stitches.  After a few minutes, I take the cotton out, and it looks like the bleeding is stopped, but his lip is really swollen. 

In the moment, Zander said that he and Zevan were playing chase, and Zander tried to hold on to Zevan to stop him, and that's when Zevan fell.  On the open dresser drawer, as far as I can figure.  While Zevan is crying, Doug asks Zander to show him were Zevan hit.  In his haste to get out of the room, Zander hits his head on the door frame.  Big crying ensues.  Now everyone is crying.  Even me.  Which makes Zevan cry more. 

Zander says, &quot on’t cry, mom." and gives me a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Things finally calm down, we give the boys some Tylenol, Doug distracts the boys while I wash the blood out of my shirt.  And Doug cooked and is feeding them dinner now while I'm online, writing this to decompress.

Right now, I need to do some damage control. I need to eat a low calorie dinner, although I only have about 250 calories left for the day.  I need to go to bed early tonight to catch up on sleep and avoid the late night eating trap.

  This week is going to be a wash, I just need to not let myself go overboard because of it.   

Yesterday I got on the scale several times, moved it to different places on the floor, (maybe the tile here is uneven and throwing the numbers off… changed how I was breathing    

And my rationalization including menstrual weight, my muscles are sore…

Remember, I'm 5'2^1/2" 

Last week I was down to 129.  Yesterday, naked before working out, after peeing, before breakfast…132.8, 132.4, 132.6  After working out…132.2, 132.0 - I'll take it!

Crap.      I could stomach 1-2 lbs gained, but 3?!     I almost pretended I didn't weigh myself so I didn't have to report it.   

The good news is after my very windy run this morning, I'm at 131.4.

It's frustrating me because LAST January, I started on BalanceLog at 136.  I did actually get down to 125 last April for about a month last year.

My doctor casually mentioned that, although I didn't look it, I was carrying some extra pounds for my height.  This was in the context of discussing my family history of adult onset diabetes.  She did weigh me fully clothed with my shoes on!

I know I need to let go of the number on the scale.  It's just so much more concrete and convenient to measure than anything else.

According to the CDC BMI calculator, my BMI is 23.8 which is on the upper end of the normal band. 

I just want to wear my jeans without that extra bulge over the waistband.   

The reality of it is, when I was 22 and training for a body building competition, my body fat was at around 12-14% and my weight was 124. 

I'm hoping for 125 with a lot less muscle mass.  It feels do-able.  Isn't it?  Am I  ?

Ugh!  I'm up 3 lbs in 2 weeks.   I'm sure it has something to do with starting my period on Saturday.

It's discouraging, but I still feel really healthy with my workouts and new training program. I am super pleased with my time in the 5K and also with my climbing lately.

Zander's in testing mode today so it's a good thing there is no chocolate in the house.    I wish I wasn't such a stress eater!     

  I've started a new goal to lose 5 lbs in 8 weeks.