Still no full blown tantrums, but constant testing of limits and my patience  .

I've decided we need a break from potty training.  He refuses to go just because I ask him to.  It's another platform for him to jump off of. 

So…I'm not going to ask him to go potty and he is not allowed to play any computer games while he's not going on the potty.  Period.  We'll see where that takes us.

I'm too tired from all the other behavioral issues to deal with potty training on top of it all. 

I put my pedometer back on last week.

The first few days I was doing about 5000-6000 steps per day.  Then I started training for this 5K, and now it's easier to get to 10000 steps.

On Saturday, I took Zevan out with me in the jogger, and we were out for an 18 minute run…I actually was able to run for that amount of time even with the jogger.  We all spent some time outside in the afternoon.  That night, we went out downtown and walked between restaurants/bars.  And we were even able to get in some dancing to Phat Daddy at The Thirsty Parrot.  Dani was amused by the fact that I had my pedometer on when we were out.

Check this out:

I'll never see that number again, I'm sure.

Sunday I took the boys along the 5K course, and racked up 10000 steps by bedtime.

I can't find my pedometer again, but feeling pretty good since I ran for 18 minutes this morning.

So, we've had 3 near tantrums that I was able to diffuse.  Yay for me.  Still very hard work, and ongoing.  He is continually testing me, and I have to remember that is what he is doing and be consistent in my response.  I did lose my temper the other day, and had to walk away.  He tried to follow me around, which only infuriated me more.   

I am weary from the constant bargaining/cajoling. Trying to reward him for good behavior only works about half the time. Threatening to take his toys away, especially his dinosaurs, seems to affect him the most.   

Except for today, the potty training has been going really well the past 4 days.  Hopefully we can stay on track with that.  Heck, even Zevan goes potty sometimes.

Zevan is worrying me a bit with his tantrums.     When he gets mad, he tries to hurt himself.  He will hit his own head on whatever is around, the floor, the wall, the door…  He's got a decent rugrash/bruise on his chin from doing it.  He also hit his eye on the foot of his bed the other day, I thought he was going to have a black eye from it, but he didn't.  I'm not sure how to stop him from doing it.     If I move him away from all furniture, he'll throw himself forward and slam his own face into the floor.  If I try to hold him, he flails and squirms a lot, and I'm afraid I could drop him.

My boys have some anger management issues, that's for sure. 

So, I walked along the course for the St Patrick’s Day 5K run on March 11.

First, I did a picnic with the boys in Bancroft Park, then they rode in the double jogger for the course. From Bancroft Park on 24th, we walked over to 27th, then crossed the street and headed down to 10th Street. That took about 29 minutes

After a visit with Tonia, who is opening a new salon near 10th and Colorado, we headed back towards Bancroft Park. We made a quick stop at Dairy Queen. Zevan had fallen asleep, so Zander and I had some ice cream before we got back to the park. That took about 22 minutes. So I was able to walk the route in 51 minutes pushing a double jogger, including waiting for traffic light changes. That bodes well for my goal of running the course in 36 minutes or less.

I *just* finished a 15 minute run that I started out to do about 2 hours ago.     But there was email to answer, posts to read, stuff to pick up around the house.  Even after I put on my shoes, I procrastinated another quarter hour.   But I did it.     I just realized that I need to get up to 36 minutes of running if I want to run the whole 5K. 

Usually I am able to get back on track with a sensible meal after falling off the wagon, but I think I was too worn out yesterday to fight the good fight.  I'll make up for it another day. 

Now I'm going to take a quick shower so I don't knock out the people at the climbing gym with my odeur naturale. 

Oops…I totally blew it today.  I didn't get a full workout in this morning as a tantrum avoidance technique, spent over 2 hours in the car driving to Denver and back AND ate too much – snacking in the car, fast food, big breakfast at Doug's parents house. 

I did rearrange the office and got it ready for the new (to us) desk, so that burned some calories. 

It might have been salvageable if it weren't for the Girl Scout cookies at Candy's house!!!   

Oh well, tomorrow is another day…

We are making progress.  A week without a tantrum is fantastic. 

We are even making some progress with potty training.  If he goes potty 3 times in one day, he gets to play a video game on his computer.  If he goes 5 times in one day, he gets to watch his tv show after dinner.

He ALMOST had one last night after dinner.  He was insisting on watching his tv show, but he hadn't gone potty the 5th time yet.  I almost fell into my usual pattern of threats, but I just told him that he needed to go potty or he would not watch his show then walked away from him and let him go downstairs instead of stay in his room.  We did not interact for 10 minutes.  Then I went downstairs and asked him if he was now ready to go on the potty so he could watch his tv show.

Today – just 30 minutes ago – he almost had another one, and today was the first day I used a timer for his time out.  He was being rude, rude, rude, but instead of getting angry right away, I just told him calmly what was going to happen.  He tested, I followed through.  He tested again, I followed through again.  We had an interruption because dad came home in the middle of the time out.  I reset that timer 3 times, and then he finally got it.  He was excited when the timer beeped and he was able to come down to greet daddy.

Raising Your Spirited Child has given me insight into why he does what he does.

Setting Limits (How to Raise Responsible, Independent Children by Providing Reasonable Boundaries) by Robert MacKenzie has given me clear guidelines on how to deal with him.  It is the same principals as "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" but it is much more direct (written by a man).  He also addresses my current parenting style and why it has not been working for me.

I'm re-energized on this parenting thing.  I just hope I can keep it up.  Interestingly, many books say that children often have the most developmental advances at the year and half year mark.  Of course my kids are 18 months apart, which means they will always hit these stages at roughly the same time.  So it's not my imagination that it seems to all hit at once!

Oops gotta go…Zander and Zevan hit each other!