As the mother of two boys, 2 1/2 and 1 year old, I find myself pushed to my mental limits more often than I ever have in my life.

I realize now that I have two choices: Reset or Explode

While it sounds like an easy choice, I don’t always get the opportunity to reset, so I just explode. It’s not pretty. It’s usually preceded by a “If you don’t stop <insert annoying behavior here>, Mommy is going to have a big tantrum.”

Now that works some of the time in stopping said annoying behavior. Other times, Mommy has her big tantrum.

How to reset…

In all situations, the first thing to do is stop and take a deep breath. Let it out slowly and let your child hear and watch you do it. In future situations, they will learn this cue as a sign that mom has reached her limit.

AT HOME

Change your venue. Put the child somewhere else. Away from you. I don’t call it a “time-out” but the principle is bascially the same. I say, “It looks like you need to go to your room for a few minutes.” I plop him down on his bed or chair in his room and say, “You can stay here until you are ready to come down and behave/be quiet/be nice”

I don’t treat it as a punishment. He still has access to blankie, books and/or toys. This works particularly well because he usually acts up for attention and a reaction from his audience (me, dad, brother…), so if he is removed from his audience, he quits acting up.

Walk away. Also known as a mommy-time-out. Not always possible, but if it is, just do it. Ideally, I would go to another room, but many times I will be followed. Sometimes I will cheat and put on a short video or a recorded show (thank you, TiVo) to get some time to reset. Sometimes I will go to the car, shut the doors/windows and scream in there.

IN PUBLIC

Count to 10 or sing a song. Remind yourself that you are in charge. Then count to 10 out loud. Or sing a little song that your child knows. Sometimes this is enough to stop the annoying behavior or give you a way to distract and engage your child in some less annoying activity.

Turn it around. Remind yourself that you are in charge. Then count to 10 out loud. Or sing a little song that your child knows. Sometimes this is enough to stop the annoying behavior or give you a way to distract and engage your child in some less annoying activity.

Leave. If you are lucky enough to have someone with you to watch your other child/cart then just walk away. Get out of earshot and eyesight and take a couple of minutes to calm down. If you are by yourself, then you might just have to grab your purse and kid(s) and go to the car or lobby or just go home.

These are just some tactics I use. I am sure there are other tactics out there. And I’d love to hear about more.