·:[ The Healthy Mom ]:·
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As parents to two in diapers, Doug and I have half-conversations. Our discussions are continually interrupted by cries, suspicious silence, dirty diapers, phone ringing, requests (Dad, would you help me with my shoes? Mom, would you read me this book? Or just a simple, Look at me!) and demands.

Add work, our retail comic book store, my home businesses and household tasks, and we don’t seem to have any time to ourselves.

Tonight reminded me how important it is to make time.

Last August, on our wedding anniversary, we made a promise to have a date night once a month. That doesn’t seem to difficult, does it? One night a MONTH.

We are extremely fortunate to have Grandma and Grandpa in town, and willing to babysit. And, the boys love spending time with them.

And somehow we still sometimes don’t have our date night once a month. And even when we do, sometimes we still don’t connect. Sometimes we go to see a movie, and it’s all we have time for. We always feel like we can’t stay out too late.

When we were swapping weekend babysitting with Jimmy and Rose Ena, it was easier. We need to find someone to do that with again. I think that I need to talk to Johanna about it.

Anyway, we had a plan to have a date night earlier this weekend, but the days got away from me, and by the time I thought of it, it was already 7 PM and it felt like it was too late to try and get things together.

So today, Doug’s mom called to ask about babysitting, and I decided on the spot, that we were going to go out.

We went to the Blue Star for dinner. As we pondered the wine list and menu items together, and talked about the comic store, it dawned on me.

I miss this man.

It’s so weird how you can live with someone every day, interact with each other and just not connect at all.

And I really missed him. So I told him. And we talked. About us. And connected. And reminisced. And planned. It was fantastic. I felt like we were a couple again.

I needed to remind him — and myself — of how much I love him and need him in my life.
:smile::grin:

After nearly a week of finally “sleeping through the night,” Zevan had an awful night last night. He was up every couple of hours…We moved downstairs so at least Doug and Zander could sleep. I tried TV, I tried walking around and finally had to nurse him to calm him down. 3 times!

Zander woke up at 5:30 AM, right about the time I finally got Zevan settled down. Of course. :-x

I convinced Zander to go back to sleep, then Zevan woke up again. Argh!

We all 3 got to sleep and then were up at 8:30 AM (so I got to “sleep in” a little). :roll:

While I was getting the energy to get out of bed and get breakfast going, Zander played in his room with his toys. “Excuse me,” he said, “I burped in my body (his way of saying he farted.)

I sickeningly recognized the sound of a very liquidy messy diaper. “Excuse me” he said again. Followed by “Ewww… Mommy, I got something on my leg.” 8-O

Sigh. So I grabbed him and put him in the bathtub to undress him. YUCK. I let him hold the showerhead to rinse himself while I washed him off. Zevan was whining outside of the tub and trying to climb in.

I got Zander showered and clean, then took him out of the tub to dress him. Zevan was complaining, so I took out the baby bathtub and filled it with water and let him sit in it while I dressed Zander.

When I came back in the bathroom, Zevan had pooped in his bathwater. UGH. He protested as I pulled him out of the little bathtub to dump, lean and rinse it so I could fill it again to bathe him. I plopped him back in the clean tub so I could clean the big tub around him.

Then I bathed, diapered and dressed him, too.

Zander said, “Mom, I got some poop on the floor.” Sure enough, there was a spot on his carpet from the original incident. Out came the Oxyclean and a rag. YUCK again.

All within 30 minutes of waking up. Fun.

They had a bland breakfast of dry cereal, fruit and apple juice.

I took Zander to school (I know what you’re thinking, but he’s only there for 5 hours, and I knew he wouldn’t mess a diaper again while he was there - I needed that time!). He’s been pretty good about going there for the past 3 weeks, but not today. As soon as I put him down outside, he clung to my leg and started crying, “I want to go home.” After a couple of minutes, Miss Mary, his favorite teacher, came out and he calmed down.

I rushed off to meet a friend at Ross for shopping to celebrate our recent weight loss.

For some reason, Zevan cried anytime I put him down (much more fussy than he normally is), so shopping was impossible and the dressing room was a nightmare.

I went home empty handed.

This was all before noon.

Luckily, the rest of the day went okay. It didn’t get any worse, anyway. :|

As the mother of two boys, 2 1/2 and 1 year old, I find myself pushed to my mental limits more often than I ever have in my life.

I realize now that I have two choices: Reset or Explode

While it sounds like an easy choice, I don’t always get the opportunity to reset, so I just explode. It’s not pretty. It’s usually preceded by a “If you don’t stop <insert annoying behavior here>, Mommy is going to have a big tantrum.”

Now that works some of the time in stopping said annoying behavior. Other times, Mommy has her big tantrum.

How to reset…

In all situations, the first thing to do is stop and take a deep breath. Let it out slowly and let your child hear and watch you do it. In future situations, they will learn this cue as a sign that mom has reached her limit.

AT HOME

Change your venue. Put the child somewhere else. Away from you. I don’t call it a “time-out” but the principle is bascially the same. I say, “It looks like you need to go to your room for a few minutes.” I plop him down on his bed or chair in his room and say, “You can stay here until you are ready to come down and behave/be quiet/be nice”

I don’t treat it as a punishment. He still has access to blankie, books and/or toys. This works particularly well because he usually acts up for attention and a reaction from his audience (me, dad, brother… , so if he is removed from his audience, he quits acting up.

Walk away. Also known as a mommy-time-out. Not always possible, but if it is, just do it. Ideally, I would go to another room, but many times I will be followed. Sometimes I will cheat and put on a short video or a recorded show (thank you, TiVo) to get some time to reset. Sometimes I will go to the car, shut the doors/windows and scream in there.

IN PUBLIC

Count to 10 or sing a song. Remind yourself that you are in charge. Then count to 10 out loud. Or sing a little song that your child knows. Sometimes this is enough to stop the annoying behavior or give you a way to distract and engage your child in some less annoying activity.

Turn it around. Remind yourself that you are in charge. Then count to 10 out loud. Or sing a little song that your child knows. Sometimes this is enough to stop the annoying behavior or give you a way to distract and engage your child in some less annoying activity.

Leave. If you are lucky enough to have someone with you to watch your other child/cart then just walk away. Get out of earshot and eyesight and take a couple of minutes to calm down. If you are by yourself, then you might just have to grab your purse and kid(s) and go to the car or lobby or just go home.

These are just some tactics I use. I am sure there are other tactics out there. And I’d love to hear about more.

It’s the middle of the night and I need to go back to sleep, but just wanted to jot something down, since it’s been a while again since my last post.

MOTHER’S DAY
I had a really nice Mother’s Day weekend. Dinner at Red Lobster Saturday night (crab legs!) and then Sunday morning we went to brunch at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. For dinner, Tom and Georgiana came up from Westcliffe with enchiladas and dessert. I made margaritas, Doug made guacamole, and Doug’s parents came for dinner, too. It was a very wonderful family day. I really enjoyed it.

ORGANIZING
Today was the monthly Organizing Swap with the wonderful moms in my life. Each month we pick a room to organize/purge and then we bring our stuff together to give away. We order pizza in, each bring a fruit/vegetable to share, and then go through the other’s “junk.” I offer what’s left to the West Side Moms, then to SpringsFreeForAll, then donate to ARC.

The first month was bathroom stuff, and the next two months was kitchen. This month was kids’ stuff: toys, clothes, games, books, puzzles. I hope I gave away more than I took! Next month is home office!

ZBOYS
Zevan has made a major stride towards walking full time (no pun intended). He has been able to walk for a while, but has preferred crawling/cruising. Lately he has been walking independently to get to things, although he prefers to tackle his goal. :lol:

Zander’s super energy has been draining my lately, but he seems to always be able to recharge it with his winning smile, and “I want to kiss you, Mom” after he’s been scolded.

I have realized that when my limits have been reached, I have a choice: I can reset or I can blow up. Which sounds like an easy choice, but sometimes I don’t get the opportunity to reset so I end up blowing up. I need to find quick and efficient ways to reset.

Okay, I’m going to grab a drink of water and get back to sleep.

While you can lose a lot of weight by strict calorie counting, your body will very often get to a weight and then stick to it for a while.

The first thing to do is recalculate your RMR, because at a lower weight, you will need less calories at rest. So, sadly, you will have to eat even less to lose weight.

If, after lowering your calorie intake to match your new weight , you still want to lose those last 5 lbs…exercise is the way to go.

:-| UGH, you say. Not that!

You don’t have to join a gym or sign up for aerobic classes. There are a lot of ways to fit exercise in to your daily activities.

Walking is the cheapest exercise there is. And you can do it anywhere. If you are lucky, and the weather is nice, just go outside and take a walk. Start with 10 minutes. Go out the door, walk for 5 minutes and then walk back home. See? Not so bad.

Add more time or pick up the pace each time you walk.

Dance. My kids love this. We’ll alternate between Black Eyed Peas and the Lion King soundtrack. It’s fun!

Yoga/Pilates. These activities can help with flexibility and stress. Find a kids yoga video and they can do it with you. There are some good videos of yoga you can do with infants as well.

Other ways to sneak in exercise?

Play with your kids. Take them to the park. But don’t just sit and watch - get in there and play with them. Get a membership to your local zoo. Lots of walking!

Housework. You have to do it anyway, might as well make it count for something. Clean out that closet or room or garage. Do some yard work. Just keep moving.

Shop. Hey, it’s walking with a purpose. Any kind of shopping with little ones can be quite a work out. Between shopping carts, slings, carriers, strollers, and good old-fashioned carrying, there is a lot of physical activity.

So, did you find out your RMR?

Good

The next step is to accurately log your calorie intake.

So, you can eat all your meals out of a cans/boxes/packages that have the calories printed right on them and total them up. But while that might work for some college students (ramen, anyone?), it’s not practical for real life.

How can you log your food intake?

You can do it manually. Grab a notebook or a spreadsheet. In the first column, write down everything you eat: description and portion size (cup, ounce, pieces, etc). In the second column, you will need to find out the caloric content of that amount of that specific food.

There are a lot of sites out there with databases of foods and their calories. Calorie King has the caloric content of lots of foods: packaged, restaurant menus, fresh…you name it, and they probably have it. For an annual fee, they have an electronic diary where you can enter your meals online, and it calculates the nutritional information for you.

Some restaurants actually have the nutritional information of their menu available - both online and in the restaurant. Fast food places have sophisticated calculators where you can specify EXACTLY what you ordered at the restaurant and get the nutritional information. Really…you can enter, for example, Wendy’s single, no bun, just pickles and tomatoes, side salad with fat-free French dressing and a diet coke, and it will calculate the calories for you.

Also, you can buy software for your computer and/or PDA to help you keep track of your caloric intake. Like Calorie King, these programs have a database of foods. And you can add foods that are not in the database. When I started my weight loss program, I bought a program called BalanceLog by HealtheTech, at the recommendation of a personal trainer.

Note: I bought my fully-licensed software on eBay for $29, including shipping. The software is really good, but it has its limits. The database could stand to be updated and expanded. You can’t import data into the database in bulk. You have to enter each new food item in manually.

It’s web-sync capabilities are misleading. You can enter your data online, but once you download it to your Palm or PC, it’s deleted from the server. And you can’t upload your Palm/PC data to the web. Since I mostly enter my data at home directly on the PC, this was not an issue for me.

Other ways to keep track? Self magazine subscribers have access to the Self Diet Club online, which includes a Food Log, and even a Meal Planner.

You can try [URL=http://www.sparkpeople.com/]SparkPeople[/URL] which is a free online service for tracking calories.

Some websites offer pages you can print out and carry with you to record your food intake. Of course, you will need to calculate the calories yourself. Or you can use these sheets to help you enter your meals later in the day. You can download one from Low Fat Recipes

Once you choose the method that works for you, you have to use it. Every day. Every meal. No exception.

Just try it for a week. Even before you start your actual diet. If you are like me, you will be shocked at how many calories are in the foods you eat. Just one fast food lunch (sandwich, fries and soda) can take up 50-80% of your allotted calories for the day. It’s crazy!

…is to eat less.

Seriously.

The fact is that you need to take in less calories than you are burning. It doesn’t matter if it is carbs, fat or protein. It’s the overall calorie count that matters.

The trick is in finding out how many calories you are burning, and then eat less calories than that.

How can you do that? You need to determine your Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR). RMR is the number of calories you burn each day at rest, and it can account for a majority of your total caloric needs.

Better known as your metabolism. Remember? When you were 21, you could eat a Big Mac value meal and still fit into your skinny jeans. Fast metabolism. Now that you are older, you just look at a french fry and gain weight. ops:

You can spend money (from $40-$100) on getting a test done to determine your RMR.

If you can’t afford the test, you can calculate your estimated RMR based on your current height, weight, gender and age. Other factors that affect RMR include body composition, your eating habits (small regular meals increase RMR, crash dieting decrease RMR), the weather, genetics…

If your calculated RMR is completely off-base, you will be able to determine that within the first two weeks of using it as your baseline.

How? If you are honest in logging your calories (EVERY BITE COUNTS), and eat less than you are supposed to be burning, but you don’t lose any weight in the first two weeks, then your RMR must be lower than you calculated.

If you are successful, there is one drawback. :-| As you lose weight, your RMR drops. So, if you were able to eat 2000 calories a day and lose the first 5-10 lbs, you then have to recalculate your RMR based on your new weight. And then you might have to eat 1700 calories a day to continue losing weight. And so on, until you get to your goal weight.

The good news is, after you get to your goal weight, you go into maintenance mode, and you can eat more! But, sensibly.

So, how do you keep track of calories? That’s a topic for another post…

My name is Maida Carpio Scott, and I created this website, www.TheHealthyMom.com. I’m a work-at-home, semi-crunchy mom to 2 handsome, intelligent boys and wife to a wonderful, loving husband.

I am a first generation Filipina-American, born in Philadelphia, raised in New Jersey. I went to college for two years, served in the Air Force (active duty, then reserves), then finished my BS in Electrical Engineering. I married my soul mate, Doug, in 1996, after a 4 year long courtship. My oldest son is Zander, who is will be 3 in October 2005. His baby brother, Zevan, will be 16 months old on August 18, 2005.

My first internship was at Hewlett Packard, and one of my assignments was to learn how to make web pages. This was 1995, when the internet was “new.” An HP affiliate asked me to create a website for him. And that’s how MaidaNet was born.

I created this site to help with my journey through motherhood, and share my experiences and lessons learned. I also hope to earn money so that I can continue to stay home with my Zboys.

I hope you like it!