·:[ The Healthy Mom ]:·
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Zevan turned one year old at 12:35 early this morning/late last night.

Wow.

One. And the little stinker refuses to sleep through the night. I’m lucky if I get 3 hours straight. UGH. Last night was bad for sleeping.

He was great all day - he slept in a little, then he had a little catnap before everyone arrived at noon.

He had a very nice birthday party yesterday. Grandpa, grandma, Aunt Georgiana, Uncle Tom, Johanna, Jeff, Paxton, Emmitt, Andrea, Emily, May and Hunter came to celebrate with the four of us. We just ordered pizza and Doug’s mom brought fruit, and Georgiana and Tom brought veggies and dip.

The weather was just right, so the kids got to play outside - and with the Jeep. We did a Blues Clues theme - tablecloth, plates, cake. It was a really nice day.

Zander was having trouble with it not being *his* birthday, so he got to help Zevan open gifts and blow out his candles. He even got a gift of his own to open.

Although there was a lot of activity going on, and he did get a little overwhelmed, he didn’t cry or get cranky while everyone was there. After his nap, however… It just seems like his separation anxiety is on full force lately. He only wants mama.

Lester came down from Denver in the late afternoon and we all went out to dinner at Amanda’s Fonda on Colorado; we sat on the back patio. Very nice. Lester is teaching Zander the derivative of x² is 2x. :lol:

Lester hung out with Doug and the boys while I went to pick up my new-to-me single jogging stroller. I talked to my mom and dad while on the road.

I found out something very interesting. I was telling them about Zevan’s blueberry baby incidents (it happened again on Saturday), and my mom said that it came from the Carpio side of the family. She told my dad and then he told me that Auntie Ciely, Auntie Be and Lola all did the same thing, and were prone to fainting/passing out as adults, too.

So it is hereditary. The funny thing is that I was with Lester when my dad was telling me that Lester’s mom did it, too

I went to Andrea’s baby shower on Saturday, and Tonia came! I haven’t seen her since Zander was a baby. It’s so funny how that happens. At Mobilize we were inseparable, and even after that, when she lived in Chelsea Glen, we saw each other often. After she moved to Peyton, I just never saw her. I was so happy to see her at the shower. It was great to catch up. Betty was there, too. I hadn’t seen her since my baby shower for Zevan.

I have a Pampered Chef order going in this week, to get orders in time for Mother’s Day. I brought catalogs to the shower with me and Tonia and Betty said they wanted to order some stuff. Also, I brought catalogs to Zander’s school, and the current director there was very excited to order some things. Might turn out to be a decent order… I am going to propose doing a Pampered Chef fundraiser for KinderCare. I like being a “catalog consultant” and just doing orders with the catalogs instead of doing kitchen shows. There are a lot of people out there who just love Pampered Chef and don’t necessarily want to go to a kitchen show to do so.

You know, with everything that happened this weekend, I neglected to mention that my computer died. Well, it was dying. I was having big problems with Outlook and I thought it was a virus, although no virus check or spyware check could find anything wrong.

So I called the trusty guys at PC Onsite and found I had a hard drive going bad. :O

They took it to their shop and replaced it. I didn’t lose any data, thankfully. I just got it back today (only because I fell asleep on Saturday with the boys, and when I woke up, they were closed).

They have ordered a DVD writer drive for the PC, and that should come in this week. I’m very excited to have that so I can make back ups more easily (we have over 50 GB of data on our 80 GB harddrive). Then Zander and Zevan’s pictures will be safe!

The moral of today’s post is: Back up your data!

It’s hard to strike a balance between being an accomodating parent and a “fear of God” parent. I don’t want my boys to fear me, just respect me. I don’t want them to walk all over me either.

Last night, Doug and I wanted to go out dinner with the boys. I know of some parents who, when their children are between 2 and 3, never go out with said child because of the tantrum/behavior issues. We don’t want to be those parents. Just like we don’t want to be the parents who never go out anymore, now that they have kids.

So, we decided last night to go out to eat at the last minute. Zander is watching an episode of his favorite show, Prehistoric Planet, and we mention it to him. He says, “May I please finish my show?” We say yes. Doug and I start the prep. Where should we go? He doesn’t want Chinese, I don’t want pizza. Phantom Canyon! I call them to get on the list. Doug changes clothes. I change Zevan’s diaper, and even take a minute to make myself presentable in public. We’re ready to go. Zander show ends. He says, “I just want to stay home. I don’t want to go to the restaurant.”

Doug tells me that if Zander is going to have a big fit, he would rather stay home, too. I decide in my mind that we are going out. It will be fine, I tell Doug.

There is a protest about shoes (I bring them with us and decide I will put them on in the car). There is a protest all the way to the restaurant.

Z: “I just want to stay home.”
M: “I understand that you want to stay home”

Z: “I don’t want to go to the restaurant.”
M: I understand that you don’t want to go.”

Z: “I just want to stay home.”
M: “I know, sweetie.”

Z: “I don’t want ANY food.”
M: “You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to. ”

Z:”I don’t want to walk by myself, carry me, Mom.”
M: “I’ll carry you, sweetie.”

Even in the restaurant, he is complaining. He doesn’t want a booster, he wants a high chair. He wants to go home. After we order our food, he and I go for a little walk and talk. I tell him that he is going to be in trouble. If he continues to act the way he is acting, that Mommy is going to have a big tantrum right here in he restaurant. Is that what he wants? His eyes open wide for a moment. He thinks about it. “Yes” he tells me. Stinker!

I say, “I don’t think that’s what you really want. Let me tell you what mommy wants. Mommy wants to eat dinner at the restaurant. And she would like it very much if you could eat dinner with us and be nice at the table while we eat. Do you think you can do that?” I am telling him this in his ear while carrying him in the restaurant.

He thinks about it. He flashes me his killer smile and says, “I do want to eat dinner with Mommy and Daddy and Zevan. And be nice.”

Finally! “That would be great! I would really appreciate it. Should we go back to the table and see if the food is here?”

“Yes.”

We come back to the table and have a tantrum free meal.

People often marvel about the activities I am able to do with my 2 boys, under 3 year old, 18 months apart. I heard Doug telling his sister about my sheer force of will enabling me to go out and do things.

It’s so true. There are so many times I am calmly, but firmly, telling Zander, that I understand that he wants to stay home, but Mommy wants to leave the house today.

I have adopted this parenting style, from my dear friend Caitlin, who I miss very much. I met her through a mom’s group and immediately felt a connection with her. I grew up in a “Fear of God” household, so her parenting style intrigued me. I watched in awe as she spoke calmly with her son Declan, described how his behavior was affecting her and others. If that didn’t stop the undesired behavior, she reminded him of what she had just told him and offered consequences if it didn’t stop. If he continued, a reminder of consequences, and then asking if that’s what he really wanted to happen. Then, consequences were carried out. Period. No screaming or yelling. His protests were met by acknowledgement, and then explanations of why things were going to happen even if it wasn’t what he wanted.

Her patience inspired me. Of course, it didn’t go perfectly every time. But it did go well most of the time. Her son is one of the most well-behaved preschoolers I have ever met (She will laugh if/when she reads this, but it’s true.) I had been looking forward to experiencing the transition from one boy to two boys with her (her youngest Keric is just 2 months older than Zevan), but she moved In fact, so did Rose Ena, whose daughter was born 5 months after Zevan. But I digress (who me?)…

I still have my fear of God moments. These are the “Mommy tantrums” that I “threaten” Zander with. When it gets to that point, I am usually very loudly telling Zander that I cannot deal with his problem right now, I am very frustrated and he needs to sit in his room while Mommy goes to her room and has a tantrum. And he does. And I do. Then once I am calm, I go to him and apologize. And he will give me a kiss and a hug. And he will remember that mom has her limits, too.

Zander is, for the most part, a very well behaved boy. He is sweet and loving and polite most of the time. Which is all a parent can ask for.

Despite his tantrums and protests, I still think he is perfect. My special little guy.

Earlier today, the scariest thing happened.

I had just changed Zevan’s diaper and clothes, and I picked up Zander to change him. Zevan had crawled under me, while I was walking over to the changing table with Zander, and I kind of bonked him while he was under me. He started crying, so I picked him up to comfort him. After he calmed down, I put him back down to change Zander. He got upset, of course, and did that kind of silent cry that babies do, gearing up for the great big cry/yell. He did his kind of tantrum thing where he puts his face on the ground. And I waited for the scream.

That didn’t come.

He pushed himself around on the floor, and then flipped over. He was blue. I dropped down and picked him up, and he wasn’t breathing. I yelled for Doug. I was desperately calling Zevan’s name. He kind of opened his eyes at me for a second, and then it was like he passed out. Everything after this point is a blur to me now.

I put him over my shoulder and rubbed his back for a few seconds, then looked at him again, for something. I yelled for Doug again. He came running up the stairs. When he saw us on the floor, he frantically asked what happened. While I was telling him, he took Zevan in his arms, and called his name. Zevan opened his eyes again, and finally cried. Hard. I started sobbing along with him, in relief. Doug gave him back to me, and ran down to get Zevan a glass of water. I held Zevan close to me, never so glad to hear him crying.

He wouldn’t drink the water, he was crying so hard, so I sat down to nurse him. Looking back, the whole episode only lasted about 2-3 minutes, but it seemed like forever at the time.

Doug and I talked about what to do while he finished changing Zander. Should we take him to the hospital? He seemed fine now. I have heard from other moms about babies who would get so mad they would hold their breath and pass out. I said that I would watch him over the next hour to see if he seemed like something was still wrong.

Zander, bless his heart, was wonderful through the whole thing. He was mid-diaper change (a messy one at that) on the changing table. When Doug finished changing him, he was his chatty self, and talked about Zevan and called him his “blueberry brother” and said “Zevan was blue, and I can turn green.”

I told Doug to go on with Zander (they were headed out to run errands, while Zevan and I were going to go for a walk), and I would let him know if I needed anything.

Zevan nursed for a short time, and fell asleep. And I just held him, watching him breathe. I called Candy to check on her and Misha. I told her what happened, which, looking back now, was probably not a very appropriate thing to do, but she’s my best friend, and I tell her everything.

We talked for a while about how fast babies grow up and how we need to enjoy it while we can. The whole time, I held Zevan and watched him breathe (softly and normally, not labored) and watched his color (pink and healthy).

While I was finishing up my call with Candy, Doug called. I called him back and he was calling to check on Zevan to see if he and Zander should come home. I told him that Zevan was doing fine, and he could finish up his errands.

I decided to go on that walk with Zevan. I figured the fresh air would do us both some good.

It did. We walked for 30 minutes along Mesa Road with Zevan in the Snugli. Which, I won’t use again - that thing is no where near as comfortable as the Bjorn. I was originally (before the blueberry brother incident) going to take him in the stroller, but now I just wanted to keep holding him close, just like when he was a young infant.

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April 11th, 2005 at 4:39 pm
Follow up:
After some research, it looks like Zevan had what is called a ?Breath Holding Spell? or ?Breath Holding Attack?

From WebMD:
http://my.webmd.com/hw/raising_a_family/hw31829.asp
http://my.webmd.com/content/article/30/1728_72059

Breath-holding spells, despite the name, actually are an involuntary reaction brought on by crying or emotional upset. The child?s skin becomes pale or bluish due to a lack of oxygen, and in many but not all cases the child may faint or lose consciousness.

Something to bring up at his one year well check-up!

I’m sitting here, all of a sudden stunned 8-O by the fact that Zevan is going to be one year old a week from Monday. He took his first steps today! He actually took 2 steps, paused, kept his balance, and took 2 more.

I’ve got a lump in my throat, and my gut aches with this feeling that my two little boys are growing up so fast. It seems like yesterday when Zander took his first steps.

It’s such a cliche, but it is so true.

I just found myself going through Zander’s website, looking at pictures of him at nearly one year old. Then the tears came… Just then, Zevan woke up and fussed a bit, and I went to him and got him back to sleep. Zander stirred and rolled over on his daddy, and I marvelled at his size now, compared to when he was Zevan’s age. He has no baby fat now, and when he was a year, he had that round chubby face and that square stature. I got all choked up while watching the two of them sleep, wanting to hang on to this time for just a little bit longer. And vowing to remember to enjoy it while I can.

I haven’t had time to write. When Doug goes on a business trip, it’s 24/7 of the Z-boys. We always spend one night at grandma and grandpa’s when he goes away. Keeps me sane

Candy and Misha (and Mike)
I visited Candy several times over the past few days, and finally got to hold and meet the baby. Misha is so tiny. And she looks just like Mike! Candy is supposed to be discharged today, but the baby will be staying for an undetermined amount of time. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Candy today, but I hope that she was able to get a room at the hospital so she could be close to Misha. I can’t even imagine having to go home without my baby.

Struck by a virus
My computer is hosed. Looks like some kind of virus. At first, my Outlook just kept hanging up, which isn’t that unusual, but this time, it just never opened. After I restarted the computer, I got a message saying that Outlook couldn’t find my .pst file, and lo and behold : IT WAS GONE!

By the grace of God, I just happened to have backed up the .pst file on Tuesday, and waited the 35 minutes for it to transfer over to the laptop (I almost didn’t!) before we headed over to Doug’s parents house. Of course, I never opened the laptop while I was there.

It’s so weird. I turned off all the computers when I left on Tuesday. I can’t figure out how this all went wrong. The new guy from PC Onsite is coming over to work on it tomorrow, and also take a look at our home network.

So, I called Candy yesterday morning to see how she was doing, and things seemed to be okay. I asked her if she needed anything, and since I was on my twice-weekly run to Ross (whenever I am at Doug’s parents for breakfast, I go for a walk/jog to Ross and back), she asked me to pick up some cute socks. So I found some really cute, super-soft, pink socks for her, and on my way home from Doug’s parents’ house, I decided to make a quick stop at the hospital to drop them off.

As I parked the van in the hospital parking lot, my cell phone rang, and it was Candy. I told her that I just pulled into the parking lot. She said “Okay, I’ll see you in a minute.” On my way in, I started to get a funny feeling about why she was calling. When I came in, I knew why.

The doctor told them, “I think it’s time.”

So she was going to be prepped for induction last night at 8:00 PM, and fully induced sometime today. Wow. Exciting and scary all at the same time. Inducing now gives them a good chance for a natural delivery, rather than a c-section.

Mike was so funny. Talk about “deer in the headlights” :lol:

I am hopeful that they will have a great birth experience.

Okay, so I am taking action! This is part of my new empowerment.

Zander and pre-school
I have asked that Zander be moved up to the 2 1/2 year old class a few weeks early. Maybe being with Miss Mary and some older children will help him enjoy being there more.

West Side Moms playdates
While I am committed to making this group work, I am no longer going to make it a primary priority. I am tired of going to playdates and being the only one there. I’m sure that it will be better in the summer time when all the playdates are outside. I have set the days, time and locations. It’s up to the other moms to come when they can. While I will attend the playdates when I can, if I get a better offer (like a trip to a museum or a family visit), I will skip it that time and not feel guilty. Or I will invite the other moms to join me to go somewhere else more appealing to me - like the zoo.

Losing weight - exercising more
This is a tough thing to stick to, but I am trying to make more of an effort to get exercise in while I can. Like going for a fast walk after breakfast when we eat at Doug’s parents house on Mondays and Wednesdays. Or going to the zoo for a more active time with the boys. Like snow shoveling or picking up dog crap before a playdate so the kids don’t step in it. I also have started just putting on music and dancing around with the boys. That’s fun!

Losing weight - eating less
This is harder to stick with than anything else. But I did drop my allowed calories to 1830 (from 2100 when I first started). May and I also decided that we would drop one meal. I decided to drop my after dinner snack time. I did okay the first 2 nights. Yesterday I was hungry all day. I usually try to keep my before dinner calories to 800-900, but yesterday I was at 1100 after lunch. Then last night we were watching a movie and I just couldn’t stand it and ended up eating some rice cakes after dinner. I went over my calories by 68 for the day.

The house
I have all these projects in my head and I can’t stay focused on any of them. I have decided my first priority home project will be the office. I spend a lot of time in there and it is a wreck!

Well, now I’m worried. Candy was admitted to the hospital for her pre-eclampsia and has to stay there until the baby is born

I know that now that she is in the hospital and being constantly monitored, that the chances of something seriously bad happening is much lower, but I am still anxious. The only “cure” for pre-eclampsia is delivery, but she is still only 34 weeks, and if the baby could hang out for another 2-3 weeks, she could go home with her mama and papa instead of having to stay in an incubator her first weeks. I’m just praying that Candy and her baby (Mischa) can hang on a while longer with risk to either of them.

I talked with Mike some yesterday, and he is being very strong and calm. I know the focus is on Candy and the baby, but this must be so hard for him, too. I know when I was first pregnant, Doug shared with me that his biggest fear was losing me.

On a more positive note, I am VERY excited to see and hold their baby for the first time. Not as excited as they are, I know, but as excited as an “aunt” could be.